Page 24 of Two for Holding
When they arrived, he followed Jax to his room, intent on discussing Luca and how he would fit, as well as what Tom could do to make him feel welcome on the team.He knew it wasn’t his forte; maybe Jax would have pointers.
But Jax seemed surprised to see him.“Sorry, did we have plans?”
“No,” Tom said.“I wanted to talk about—”
“Can we do this later?I’m meeting the Philly guys for lunch, and I don’t want to be late.”
“Oh.”Tom stepped away.“Of course.I’ll see you later.”
It was good, Tom told himself as he walked back to his room.If they didn’t talk now, Jax couldn’t say anything to weaken Tom’s newfound confidence.He ignored the jealousy.Jax could have other friends.He was social and personable, and the guys in Philly probably didn’t know why he’d been traded.He probably wouldn’t tell them.
The thought of Jax confiding in someone else made Tom’s stomach tighten uncomfortably.
But Jax could do whatever he wanted.Tom could lead without him.He’d been named team captain for a reason, and it was time he started living up to the title.
Unfortunately, the game that night did not herald the triumphant beginning of a new era.It was more like when a washed-up popstar rebranded themselves and announced a new, different, improved sound only to end up performing their album at outlet malls to dwindling sales.
Jax’s passes weren’t connecting, unthinkable for him.His main skill lay in his strength, in his powerful, heavy thighs and glutes, propelling him into being one of the fastest men on the ice.His built shoulders helped as well; Tom remembered a particularly vicious check from Jax banging him into the boards last year.But what elevated Jax beyond any other strong, fast player was his hockey IQ.He had an innate sense for passing lanes and a sharp eye for positions and chances.
Tonight, the part of his brain in charge of finding the perfect angle had gone offline.Jax was still fast and forceful, but too often, he ended up in the wrong place on the ice to catch Tom’s passes.Once, he nearly collided with Vanderbilt.Midway through the second period, Morris pulled him off the first line and reinstated Abrahamov instead, forcing Tom and Vanderbilt to adapt their whole play midway through the game.
It was no wonder they lost.
In fact, with Dmitriyev taking a maintenance day and their backup in goal, it was a miracle they only lost by two goals.A miracle provided by Breezy’s blocking and Luca’s deft hands, but a miracle all the same.
Back in the hotel after a subdued bus ride with a morose team, the text from Tom’s mom read,What was that?You should be better!
He swallowed down the anger and responded,Thanks, Mom.
Because he enjoyed torturing himself, he looked up the postgame interviews on his phone.Kayleigh from PR had pulled Jax for media, and the interview he gave was a mess.Usually, Jax charmed every camera in a ten-foot radius with his smiles and jokes.
On the video, he had bags under his eyes.He appeared drawn and serious.
“What do you think went wrong tonight?”Olivia Starling asked.As the hockey beat reporter for theSan Francisco Herald, Tom imagined she would be his sleep paralysis demon if he had one of those.
“What didn’t go wrong?”Jax asked back.“I didn’t show up for the team, didn’t play a full sixty minutes.There were missed chances, giveaways, and those are on me.Gotta do better.”
Tom couldn’t watch the rest of the interview.Jax wasn’t meant to look like that.He was supposed to be confident, cocky, even.Not whatever shadow of himself he appeared as on this video.Instead, Tom scrolled down his recommendations and found the interview Tyson Fuller, Jax’s previous captain, had given after the game.
With some satisfaction, Tom noted Fuller didn’t hop on camera right after a game runway-ready.He had what might have been the worst case of helmet hair Tom had ever seen, and he clearly hadn’t been to the showers yet.He also wore the champion’s belt, having received first star of the game after scoring two goals.
Tom should get one of those for the Sea Lions.They had a funny hat somewhere in one of the storage closets from five or six seasons ago, but most teams had a new novelty item every season to pass around to each winning game’s MVP.Another captain’s duty he’d been shirking.
A reporter asked, “Tyson, how did it feel to beat Jaxon Grant so decisively after he left the team suddenly in September?”
Fuller smirked.“Well, uh, it was good, not gonna lie.It blindsided the team, losing him right at the start of the season, and it’s great to be out there proving it won’t keep us down.”
The interview went on to discuss playoff chances.The Sea Lions were tied for second place with Seattle in the Pacific division, while Philadelphia floundered in sixth place in the Metropolitan, which meant nothing anyone said in this interview had any weight.The standings didn’t mean much at this point in the season.Tom only really started worrying in February.He closed YouTube and shut off his phone.
Why was Jax friends with Fuller?He seemed like a dick.Had he said something at their lunch to make Jax so off tonight?
Before this season, before Jax, Tom would have kept his head down and gone over his own game, found its flaws and worked to fix them.Now, Tom went over the game and considered, then decided, tonight, it wasn’t his fault.
The anger living under his skin ever since St.Louis bubbled up.Righteous indignation at other players having the temerity to speak tohisteammate in such a way, coupled with his own ever-present self-loathing for not doing something about it, had been his constant companion since the ill-conceived Gordie Howe hat trick.Now, outrage joined the swell of emotion in his gut that Jax had chosen to throw away the good thing they had going on the first line over Tyson fucking Fuller.
After changing out of his suit, Tom went to Jax’s hotel room and banged on the door.Maybe ratty sweats and a Sea Lions shirt from eight seasons ago weren’t the most authoritative clothing choices for this intervention.Back then, their logo had been a cartoon sea lion, not the current more intimidating line drawing with some vague similarities to aquatic mammals.Tom had also been a clothing size smaller at the time, and the shirt clung to him in a way his clothes normally didn’t.
He didn’t wear authority in his clothing though.It was in his voice and his face, and in the slow-burning anger he finally had the words to convey at least a part of.
