Page 8 of Two for Holding
Hayesie: why is it so important we do this saturday?
The Crow: Apparently I’ve been slacking on my captain duties
Hayesie: ???
East: bbq is a captain duty?
The Crow: Social stuff.Team bonding.
Hayesie: I have been on this team for five years bro.this is the first time you wanted to bond
No responses followed Hayes’s last message.
Jax typed out half a dozen answers, from “he’s trying to prove he doesn’t hate me” to “I think he’s been replaced by a pod person”.In the end, he sent an offer to help with drinks, which Crowler turned down immediately.
It still felt wrong.So, all Crowler needed to completely change his attitude about how he ran the team was to catch Jax sleeping with another dude?Unlikely.Or had he actually paid attention at one of those nondiscrimination seminars the NHL sometimes held as lip service to all the people who rightly called the whole sport a classist, racist, sexist, homophobic clusterfuck?He did seem to be the kind of Goody Two-shoes who would.
Which Jax wouldn’t disagree with.He could fuck with a good seminar more than the next hockey player for obvious reasons.He’d met a lot of people who could do with having that brand of kool-aid poured directly into their ears and noses and mouths, like some sort of super-PC waterboarding.But Crowler hadn’t given an inkling he cared about inclusivity in the month or so Jax had been here.His sudden heel-face turn the instant he found out about Jax being gay had to be fake and covering for something, and Jax planned to figure out what.
three
Phil [reading from a notecard]: Favorite things to do on your downtime.Oh, this should be good.
Tom: What’s that supposed to mean?
Phil: Name one hobby you have that isn’t hockey-related.
Tom: I, um…I…watch the news sometimes?
Phil: [looks pointedly at the camera]
Tom: Okay, at least I don’t have old man hobbies.
Phil: Who are you calling old?
Tom: He goes fishing.For hours.Every couple days in the summer.It’s the most boring thing I have ever done on an off day, and I don’t even have hobbies.
Phil: Fishing is a sport!It’s a question of endurance and patience, and it clears your mind.You should try it some time.Maybe you’d find space in there for something besides hockey plays—
Kayleigh: Okay, maybe we should move on to the next question.
Top comments:
sealions4lyfe: bros being bros
stickstickpuck: does anyone else get old married vibes?
magpiesmolt16: This just in: Sea Lions continue to be the NHL team most devoid of charisma.Jax Grant must be going insane in their locker room.
(From “Get to Know the Sea Lions Leadership Team,” posted on Instagram on 11/03/2024)
On the last free day before a weeklong road trip to the East Coast, Tom found himself standing in Phil Easton’s kitchen chopping bell peppers.
“You want a barbecue, you make a barbecue,” Phil had said when he left Tom with the cutting board and the peppers.Shamefully, Tom had been banking on Phil’s wife to help him pick up the slack, but according to Phil, Camille was “in Paris or maybe New York, I don’t know.”
Tom did not understand their marriage.
This had been an extremely stupid idea.
