Page 117 of Ruthless Chaos
I raise my head to look around. The room is unfamiliar, with regal furniture—a king bed dressed in golden sheets, a nightstand, and a mini fridge.
Where are we?
Alexander lays me on the bed.
I gather his coat closer. It smells of his cologne mixed with a little sweat, warm and safe. I take a deep breath, hoping it will calm me down.
It doesn’t.
Instead, my hands and legs start shaking uncontrollably. I can’t take another deep breath, no matter how hard I try.
The weight of everything crashes down on me. It pulls me under.
Goosebumps prickle the back of my neck.
I’m going to die.
The walls of this unfamiliar room start closing in on me.
I’m going to die.
I’m trapped in this horrific place, masquerading as someone else, enduring inhumanity and there’s nothing I can do about it.
I’m going to die.
Liam tried to rape me, and there was nothing I could have done about it.
I’m going to die.
They tried to sell me like an animal, and there was nothing I could have done about it.
I’m going to die.
I can’t take it anymore.
This is no life to live. It’s a life I don’t want to live.
I want to die.
“Take this,” Alexander’s voice sounds far away.
I look up to find him holding a bottle of water out to me. “Drink it. It will help you calm down.”
I reach for it with shaky hands. It falls from my grasp.
He stoops to pick it up, then pops the cap and holds it to my lips.
The water slides down the sides of my mouth. I squeeze my eyes shut, frustrated.
The shaking is too much.
I can’t do anything right.
Alexander is right beside me in the next moment. He moves the bottle, using the back of his hand to wipe my face. I’m pathetic. I can’t even bear to look at him.
“Focus on how cold it feels,” he says, his voice low.
I nod.
