Page 135 of Ruthless Chaos
“I need to know so I can prepare my mind for what’s going to happen.” Saying it out loud, it sounds a little kooky, but it’s the truth.
If I don’t know I can’t plan, and if I don’t have a plan, I’ll end up acting a fool.
“Well, if you must know,” he says, “There is a river nearby. It’s calming to listen to the water. I think you would enjoy something like that.” He makes a display of giving me a pointed look. “Is that enough information, or do you need the biometrics of everyone there as well?”
I roll my eyes, swatting him away. “That’s enough, thanks.”
He laughs, jerking his hand so I end up closer to him. His body against mine feels great. I suck in a deep breath, smiling through the emotions cresting in my chest.
Not a real date. Don’t forget.
We walk until the narrow cobblestone path takes us to the edge of the forest. I hear the gurgling water before I see it, and the smell of river stones and blooming flowers is high on the air.
When it comes into view, I’m struck by its beauty.
The river separates the town from the forest, gushing between the roots of centuries-old trees and over huge, smooth rocks. The water is pristine, and so clear I see the riverbed and the fish swimming in their own forest of aquatic plants.
I’m overwhelmed.
After what happened with Dolores when I ran away to the lake, I was rarely ever allowed outside. If my father was in a good mood and let me go—he was always there, hovering over me. I never got to stay for long.
I’ve always yearned for the chance to appreciate nature like this.
Even though I’m with Alexander, his presence isn’t overbearing. It’s the opposite—I feel safe to explore if I wanted to. Like I don’t have to be thinking about a million things at once.
I can just be in the moment.
Alexander leads us to one of the iron-and-wood benches perched by the edge of the river. We’re sitting so close I can feel the cool spray of the water on my ankles. I can’t tear my eyes away from it.
Leaves float down the river like whitewater rafts, and insects flit along the surface.
I look around eagerly, committing as much of it to memory as I can.
When I finally look at Alexander, he’s studying me.
“Do you like it?” he asks.
I bob my head quickly. “Yes, of course.” I look around again, watching a pair of birds flit through the branches hanging over our heads. “It’s so beautiful." That doesn’t feel enough, but I can’t find any more words.
Alexander hums, a slight smile on his lips.
He doesn’t look away from me, though. Even though I’m soaking up the scenery, I’m acutely aware of his eyes on me.
What is he thinking?
He puts his arm around the back of the bench. My body tenses.
His fingers are so close to my neck that if he moved them just an inch…
“I know you’re still worried about your safety on campus,” he begins, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I will the goosebumps on my neck to go away, and I turn as if I’m interested in what he’s saying. Really, I just want to put some space between me and those devilish fingers.
“I think I have something that will help with that.” He starts rustling around in the pocket of his jacket.
What’s small enough to protect me that could fit in his pocket? Is he going to offer me a knife? Some sort of small gun? Neither of those things would help me much.
I also don’t think I can hurt someone like that.
