Page 142 of Ruthless Chaos
We agreed to only reach out to each other in the event of an emergency. I don’t think this is one, however strange it is.
Also, I don’t want to be the one to tell him something likethisif he doesn’t already know. A secret like this could ruin the slice of bliss he’s carved out for himself.
I’m not sure how well Graham would take to knowing that Ivy was a Head Kingmaker’s whore. He’s always been the possessive type.
Ivy is the one who should tell him.
The realization makes me happy that Alize already told me her deepest secret.
It’s not even on the same scale, to be honest. She had been so nervous that I expected something more earth-shattering. It seemed like the end of the world to her, but in my eyes it’s not a deal-breaker.
I like knowing she needs me.
It’s fucked up they would send her here, knowing that the last person who got accused of faking their identity didn’t even get the chance to have a fair trial.
But in some ways, it worked out for the best.
I wouldn’t have met her otherwise. And now that I know what the risks are, I can get ahead of the situation, to ensure no harm comes to her.
Taking a deep breath, I fill out the page.
I use her real name, Alize Moreau.
This document, as ancient as it is, is legally binding here on campus. If I knowingly use a fictitious name, not only would it make me complicit, but our agreement could also be rendered null and void, leaving her unprotected.
It’s unlikely things will ever come to that, but I do it just to be sure. Only other Head Kingmakers will ever see this book.
I stare at the entry for a while after I’ve finished, reality washing over me.
Now that I’ve done this, there’s no going back to the way things were.
Alize is mine—for better or for worse. My throat is thick as the thoughts float around in my head. I want her, I know that for certain, but I’m still cautious of what this arrangement will become.
I didn’t want to end up liking her, but now I do.
I didn’t want to make her my Courtesan, but now she is.
Love always brings death.
I don’t want her to die. If I lost her, it would leech the last bit of humanity from my blood. No, I can’t lose her.
That’s why I won’t love her.
After a few more moments of reflection, I close the book and put the fountain pen back in the desk drawer where I found it.
My steps are light and quick as I ascend the spiral stone staircase that leads into the drawing room. It’s the middle of the day, so the House is quiet—most of the Kingmakers and Associates are off to classes or other engagements.
I skipped a class to do this, just to be sure no one could follow me.
The next few days are going to be busy in the House.
Today is the start of our yearly Rush Week, where male students from Chaos and Hell House have the chance to be inducted into Kingmaker House, provided they participate in a specific set of gruesome initiation rituals throughout the week.
Hardly anyone ever gets inducted this way but torturing them makes for good fun. The shit we put them through is even worse than what the Associates have to deal with.
I round the corner from the drawing room, on my way to the stairs that lead to my wing of the House. As I pass one of the sitting areas, I see a familiar figure slumped in one of the seats.
My steps slow..
