Page 153 of Ruthless Chaos
Alize and I are more alike than both of us realized initially.
“My mother was killed because of my father,” I say, spitting the words like they are bitter. “His enemies came after her when they couldn’t get to him.”
I was thirteen when I realized it, and fourteen when I decided I would never put anyone in danger the way my father had. Love always brings death. If I don’t fall in love, then I won’t have to lose anyone.
The only reason why this thing between Alize and I even works is because she’s already in danger. She needs me to protect her.
“You lost Dolores because of yours.”
We’re silent for a few heartbeats, and I keep my hand busy with her neck.
The quietness that has fallen between us is so still I can hear my breathing and hers. She’s dressed in a puffer coat that leaves a lot to the imagination. I am exactly the monster she thinks I am, because even at a time like this, my mind wanders to what’s underneath it.
“You can talk to me.” She breaks the silence, interrupting my thoughts before I’m able to mentally undress her. “I know that I don’t have much to offer, but I’ll listen. If you ever want to talk about her.”
Alize’s eyes widen, and her body goes still, as if she’s bracing herself for my reaction.
The look on her face is so vulnerable. How did I never realize she wasn’t hardened by a life like ours? She wears her heart on her sleeve.
“Why do you think that you don’t have much to offer?” I ask, offended she would say that to me. “Are you questioning my judgment?”
She looks embarrassed. “No, it’s not—” she huffs, and I grin. “It’s just sometimes I wonder why….” Her voice trails off. “I don’t know why you want me around.”
Alize does the thing again—biting her lower lip with her teeth—and the desire to feel those plump lips and that tight mouth around my cock ignites within me. Yet, she sits here and questions why I want her around?
This woman will be the death of me.
“I’ll show you,” I say, tightening my grip on her neck. “Get on your knees.”
THIRTY-SEVEN
ALIZE
I do as he commands.
There’s a knot in my stomach and my limbs tingle. I’m breathless with anticipation, my palms moist. The floor is rough against my knees, even through the fabric of my jeans.
I’m perched between Alexander’s legs.
From this angle, he’s big, more threatening than ever. I swallow thickly around the lump in my throat. There’s a gigantic bulge in his pants, his eyes a murky blue.
I’ve seen this look on his face before—it was the same as our first meeting by this very lake, the day he cornered me in the classroom, the moment we shared in the abandoned theater building.
He wants me, and that sends a jolt of desire straight to my core.
For all the disquieting thoughts I’ve had, my brain is silent around him.
The only thing that matters is him. Alexander and I are more alike than I realized, and what I feel for him is real.What we feel for each other is real.
I want to make him feel things. Good things.
With trembling hands, I reach for his belt.
He releases my neck, resting a hand on either of his knees, watching me like a predator. His gaze is searing, the weight of it setting my nerve endings afire. I undo his belt as nimbly as my shaky fingers allow, freeing his length from his pants.
This time, I lean back to avoid the impact. I still can’t stop myself from staring at it. Each time, it seems bigger than the last time. It’s thick and wrapped with bulging veins. This thing was in my mouth?Shit.
I lick my lips, trying to hold on to my courage.
