Page 61 of The Best Parts of Him
Even though Dabbs hated that he’d had to make a pseudo statement in the first place, that Goddamn, we look good together feeling had remained. Publicly claiming Ryland as his? Not as daunting as he’d expected. Hell, not daunting at all. Because Ryland was awesome, and why wouldn’t Dabbs want to shout their relationship status to the world?
What annoyed him wasn’t that people knew—it was that Dabbs and Ryland hadn’t been given the right to come out on their own terms, and that others felt it was their right to discuss their relationship as if they knew anything about it.
“I gave them an hour,” Bellamy continued, breaking into Dabbs’ thoughts. “And these guys” —He jerked his head at CC, Hughes, and Zanetti as they walked in toting a dozen pizza boxes between them—“have agreed to help me enforce that rule.”
Zanetti shot him a thumbs-up. “We’ve got your back. Cool pumpkin out front, by the way.”
“It’s supposed to be Bellamy’s face,” Dabbs told him.
Zanetti cackled.
“Wait, what?” Bellamy blinked in surprise. “I saw that on your Instagram, but I thought you were joking. Why would you— Hey! Sandbaker! I swear to god, if you get pizza sauce on the couch, I will end you.” He marched off, clearly on a mission, pumpkin forgotten about.
Michael Hughes handed Dabbs a plate with three slices of pizza, all with different toppings, and they sat on the barstools in the kitchen where it was relatively quiet. “How was your week off?”
“Asshole,” Dabbs said without heat. “As if recuperating from appendicitis can be labeled as a week off.”
“Deeley’s right. You do look good. I guess Ryland Zervudachi treated you well.”
Dabbs side-eyed him. “Why don’t you say what you really want to say? Is it that you don’t approve?”
Hughes scoffed. “Fuck you,” he said mildly. “I don’t care that you’re dating him. I just thought you hated the guy.”
Dabbs almost choked on his bite. “Ryland? I never hated him.”
“When he asked you out in the spring, I overheard you tell him that you don’t date people who are mean to your teammates.”
“Well, yeah, but . . . ”
Hughes ate half a slice of pizza before prompting, “But?”
It hadn’t been an excuse—not exactly. Dabbs hadn’t wanted to date someone who was mean to his teammates, and at the time, Ryland and Bellamy’s rivalry hadn’t yet met its much-needed end. After growing up with a bully, Dabbs hadn’t wanted another one in his life.
But Dabbs knew, without Ryland telling him, that he felt terrible about how he’d treated Bellamy. It had been written all over Ryland’s face when he’d talked about the origins of the rivalry at the pumpkin patch.
Dabbs thought of the way Ryland had left his own life behind to come care for him despite his own injury. Thought, too, of the hockey games they’d watched, the frank conversations, the way Ryland had purchased every Jell-O flavor under the sun so Dabbs would have options, even though he’d only eaten two or three. The laughter, the shared smiles, the longing glances.
The Scrabble game that Dabbs had reluctantly packed up.
The way Ryland craved attention, not necessarily to have his ego stroked by strangers, but as a way to compensate for feeling lost and alone after his parents divorced. Because being the best meant people paid attention to him—even if it wasn’t the right people—and that desperate desire to be seen had followed him into adulthood.
Thought, too, of that goodbye kiss at the airport.
He didn’t regret it. Couldn’t.
“But he’s not who I thought he was,” he finally told Hughes.
Bellamy joined them, standing on the opposite side of the counter as he ate his pizza. He was clearly trying not to smile when he said, “Have a good week?”
“You know what?” Dabbs leaned back in his chair and owned it. “I did.”
“And you tried to argue with me about having Ryland come stay with you. Oh shit.” Horror widened Bellamy’s eyes. “Tell me you didn’t screw around in my bed.”
“Just mine.”
“Oh, thank god. Wait. What about . . . ” Trailing off, he looked around the kitchen, no doubt cataloguing every flat surface, then over at the living room couch.
“Don’t ask,” Dabbs suggested.
