Page 102 of Touched By Moonlight
Chapter 28
The Zen gardenwas a good place to think over what Grayson wanted fromme.
As I walked amongst the peaceful vines, trees and the quiet waters of the lotus pond, my thoughts swirled in amaelstrom.
Grayson wanted me to trust him. Trust Nicolas and Stephan as well and share my powers as if loaning them a car. I wanted to, how I wanted to! It was almost as if I needed to trustagain.
But deep inside rang the memory of the bitter betrayal of my family and my people. They had raised me, walked with me, loved me and in the end, hatedme.
And even though their betrayal hurt, I could not forsake my blood. I wasFae.
The Fae were blood. The Timber Wolf pack was not blood. No matter how much they had loved me, given me a pleasure I had never felt before, had made me feel a part of their family, I could notcommit.
Swear a blood vow to Grayson as my mate, with Nicolas and Stephan as co-mates? How couldI?
Yet they had been only kind, protective and loving to me. Kallan approached, I knew it in my bones. I had to leave for my sake. Andtheirs.
The solo life held no appeal for me any longer. I had walked alone for three years, and being with the Timber Wolf pack gave me insight into how long I’d fought my inner feelings. I had been lonely and numb, afraid to make friends or form anyconnections.
A ghost ofmyself.
Grayson and his betas brought me back to life. Could his people learn to accept me as Grayson said theywould?
All these thoughts ran through my mind as I left the Zen garden. Grayson was in the workshop near the house, sharpening a sword against a stone wheel. Sparks flew in every direction as he honed the blade. The sight chilled myblood.
As if scenting me, he looked up, saw me silhouetted in the sunlight, and set down the sword on the bench. “Sienna. Have you come to give me your answer about staying here and joiningus?”
“Yes.” Clenching my fists, I struggled to find the words. “I can’t. I have to leave. It’s to saveyou.”
But deep inside, I knew I was only saving my ownskin.
“Isee.”
“Doyou?”
“We need you.” He drew in a deep breath and gently clasped my shoulders. “Lass, I need you. Stephan needs you. You’re the first woman who hasn’t turned away from him after seeing him as wolf. Nicolas needs you. You make him smile again. It can be good here for you, for all of us. All those dreams I shared with you showed me how unhappy you are. I want to make you happyhere.”
Resolve melted beneath his touch, and his words. “I want to stay, Grayson. But I have to move on. It’s the only way I cansurvive.”
His expression became tight and controlled. “You’re choosing the coward’s wayout.”
My jaw dropped. Me, a coward? “I’m doing the right thing for me, and for yourpeople.”
“Stop running away from your troubles. Running never solvesanything.”
“I’m doing this to protect all of you. He’s coming here because of me. He wants my magick.” How could he be socritical?
“Right. You’re doing this to save your own pretty ass. Fine.” He waved a hand, and turned his back. “Go.”
I felt as if he’d kissed me and then slapped me. Breath fled my lungs in a whoosh. This was Grayson, who understood, whom I’d confided in my secrets and mydreams.
Turning on me hurt as much as when my father had ordered his army to destroy me. It hurt as much as Lily and Kallan’sbetrayal.
“You really want me to leave?” Pride struggled with the hollow ache in mychest.
“No. But I won’t stand in yourway.”
“Can’t you see I must leave? For your sake? Kallan will kill you all to get atme.”
