Page 79 of Touched By Moonlight
Chapter 21
When morning dawned,I left the Timber Wolfpack.
I didn’t want to leave them. Not Grayson with his bold, arrogant authority. Or Stephan with his frisky, playful seduction turning all growling and lovebites.
Or tormented, sensual Nicolas, who seldom trusted Fae and had begun to grow closer tome.
But the others did not wantme.
Grayson and his betas accepted me, although I was Fionn and powerful. They needed my magick and they respected me. For the first time since leaving my colony, someone truly neededme.
I was finished with my people. Anyone with a drop of Fae blood in their veins was not worthy of my time, or myemotions.
But Grayson and his pack were shifters and shifters didn’t like Fionn. I would never gain any acceptance in hispack.
Dawn broke over the mountains, and before the leaden light burst into rose and lavender, Nicolas drove me back to my apartment on his motorcycle. I didn’t stay for breakfast. I was afraid to see Grayson and melt into his arms again. He was out prowling the groundssomewhere.
Leaving was for thebest.
When he dropped me off in front of my apartment, he left the motor running, but pulled off his black helmet. “Let me walk youupstairs.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want nosey neighbors talking. Thanks,Nick.”
Nicolas studied me with the same intensity displayed in our first session in the basement. “Are you certain about this, Sienna? Is this what you trulywant?”
“Sure.” The words rang hollow. I could barely convince myself. “It’s for the best,Nick.”
“Right.” He kissed my mouth, a hurried brush of his lips, as if he worried a deeper kiss would make him linger. “Good-bye. Thanks for saving Carmen. I appreciate it, even if no one else seemsto.”
I walked away, my stomach in knots, my heart aching. Being with these guys had been like opening a door and peeking through, but knowing the door had to be shutagain.
Firmly.
One-night stands were never my specialty. But they were necessary these days. Survival depended upon flexibility, and never staying in the same place longer than three months. I couldn’t afford to get comfortable with Nick, Stephan andGrayson.
And that hurt, a visceral ache almost as bad as when I’d left my realfamily.
My throat went dry and I had to force myself to turn and walk away, when every fiber of being cried out to jump back onto the bike and return withhim.
To what? People who rejected me? Who judged me on the basis of being Fae? No matter what I did, it would never be good enough to convince them I intended noharm.
Maybe it was better to be feared, and left alone, then loved and eventually broken bybetrayal.
At the top of the stairs, I gripped the handrail, fighting for control of my emotions. “I’ll miss you,” I whispered. “Don’t leaveme.”
He roared off on his bike.Don’t look back.Don’t.
But of course I did, long enough to see his taillight flash as he rounded a corner. And then he wasgone.
For the first time since I’d lost my family and my beloved best friend, I felt a glimmer of hope I could have a normal life. Belong somewhere, to someone. Visions of ordinary flitted through my head like video game scenes. A warm fire, a comfortable sofa and people gathered in front of it as I walked in the door. Joy in the voices who greeted me. They wanted me there. Well, Grayson and his betas did. AndCarmen.
Laughter tore from my throat, sounding suspiciously like sobs. Me, belong? I was the nomad, the woman on the run who didn’t dare stay in one place for long. I’d already worn out my welcome in Cheyenne and Crossroads on Friday. And if not for the money earned at the day job, I’d have bolted weeksago.
And yet, for a slim moment, I had hope I could be normal. Accepted. Evenappreciated.
Hope was a dangerous thing. Once nurtured, it could flourish, push aside practical considerations like survival. Yet for the short time I’d stayed at Grayson’s pack, I felt that fleetingemotion.
Until his pack showed me I was clearly never going to beaccepted.
And the sooner I accepted that, the safer I would be. For it was hope that my father and my people would accept me that had me staying in the colony and ignoring the warning signs of jealousy andhatred.
I was different, powerful and no one wanted to look after my bestinterests.
I’d learned that lesson the hardway.
