Page 43 of The Marquess's Imperfect Brid
With the look of a woman with a freshly shattered heart, she backed away from him. She looked as if she did not quite believe what she had just said, or as if she was uncertain of herself. She seemed to be studying him, and he knew she would see his pain and confusion. He hoped she would take back what she had said and offer an explanation for what he was sure must have been a lie. But when she turned away from him with her hand over her mouth and fled the terrace without another word, he knew she had no such solace to offer.
There were tears streaming down her cheeks as she fled from him. But Gareth was occupied with his own heart, which had just been destroyed, and he could not force himself to go after her. She had looked as though she had just made a difficult decision just before she turned away from him. But he was sure that it was just his imagination that made him believe such nonsense. Lady Grace was nothing if not honest and kind. If she had said she did not love him, it must have been true. The love he had seen in her eyes and the connection he felt between them must have been imagined by him. None of it had been real after all, he decided. There could be no other reason for her rejecting him with such agonizing intensity.
Chapter Twenty-four
For two days after the ball, Grace sequestered herself in her chambers. She refused to join her family in bidding farewell to their house party guests on the morning following the ball, and her meals remained untouched in her chambers until Juliet reluctantly removed each tray. The lady’s maid tried unsuccessfully to urge her mistress to dress, if only to spend a few hours in the music room. But Grace could not bring herself to leave her room. Not after the things she had said to Lord Hayewood.
On the third night after her heartbreaking encounter with the marquess, there came a soft, persistent knocking at her chamber door. She held her breath, stroking Lady Whiskers, who had not left her side once in three days, hoping to wait out the intrusion. She was sure it was her mother, and she could not bring herself to face the marchioness, especially after the way she had admitted the feelings she was beginning to form for Lord Hayewood. But the knocking continued for more than ten minutes and at last, Grace dragged herself to the door and opened it.
“Sister, darling,” Anne said, throwing herself into Grace’s room, likely before her elder sister could close the door in her face. “Pray, you must tell me what troubles you. Neil said that you would not even speak to him when he came to your door this morning.”
Grace sighed. She looked at the distress on her sister’s face, and her resolve crumbled. It was unfair to worry her family because of her sorrows. And perhaps, she could find some semblance of peace if she shared her burden with her sister.
Taking her sister’s hand, she led her to her bed. Sheexplained the conversation that had taken place between the Duchess and her, and the following incident with the marquess in which she had rejected his confessions of love. Anne’s eyes filled with tears, and she embraced her sister tightly.
“Sister, dear, I am very sorry that the duchess could be so cruel to you,” she said. “But surely, the marquess would not care what his mother thinks if his feelings for you are genuine.”
Grace sighed again and shook her head.
“Her Grace was right,” she said. “Lord Hayewood deserves far better than me. I did what I did not for her, but for him. I know it is the right thing to do, for his sake and the sake of his future. I cannot allow him to bind himself to me when he should be seeking a more suitable bride.”
Anne shook her head, placing a gentle hand over the scars on her sister’s face.
“You cannot continue to believe that you are only as worthy as your scars,” she said. “You are beautiful, whether you believe it or not. You are kind, loving, clever and charming. And I know that Lord Hayewood sees those things in you. You must not deprive yourself of love simply because you cannot see those things in yourself.”
Grace shook her head once more, removing her sister’s hand from her face.
“Perhaps, I am those things,” she said with a weak smile. “But I am not a suitable future duchess for Lord Hayewood. He is blinded by his feelings for me, which might only be borne of sympathy and pity for me. In time, he will see that this is for the best and that he could be far happier in a life without me.”
Anne looked at her sister helplessly, taking Grace’s hands in her own. She was silent for a moment before speaking again.
“Pray, remove yourself from this chamber,” she said. “Visit the orphanage on the morrow. I am aware that it brings you great joy, and I know the children must miss your companysorely. Engage in an activity that offers you solace, so that you might gain clarity in your thoughts.”
Grace bit her lip. She missed the children, as well, and part of her longed to play, if only to ease the suffering she felt. She was sure that she already had the clarity she needed and that, as much as it hurt her, she had made the right decision to protect the marquess. But Anne was right. She should not keep herself from the children because she was drowning in self-pity. They needed her. And perhaps, she needed them, too.
“Very well,” she said. “I shall make the arrangements to go to the orphanage tomorrow.
Anne’s eyes widened and she smiled at her sister.
“Truly?” she asked.
Grace gave her a reassuring smile and a pat on her hand.
“Truly,” she said.
The following morning, she did just that. She had Juliet help her into a dark pink cotton day dress and, with Lady Whiskers between them, they made their way to the orphanage. Grace allowed the fresh air to fill her lungs and opened her senses to the feel of the warm sunlight on her skin. She still grieved for the relationship she could have had with Lord Hayewood, and for the look on his face when she had rejected him. She grieved needing to reject him at all, especially when her own feelings for him ran so deep. But she tried her best to let the beauty of the day soothe some of the ache in her heart. Perhaps, on another day, it would have worked. But that day, nature’s loveliness only seemed to be mocking her.
When they reached the orphanage, Abigail embraced her. She looked her over, pulling her aside before she escorted Grace to the children.
“Darling, are you all right?” she asked.
Grace nodded, taking a deep breath and forcing a bright smile.
“I am perfectly fine,” she said, feeling immediate guilt for lying to the wife of a vicar. “The house party just took a bit more out of me than I anticipated.”
Abigail nodded with an understanding look.
“I can only imagine,” she said. “Pray tell, are you quite certain you are prepared to impart your knowledge today? I daresay the children would be most understanding should you find yourself unable to do so.”
