Page 16 of An Icy Christmas Engagement
Duty and marriage. He hated that those two often walked hand in hand. Cedric had been trying to avoid it for years now but somehow he knew that one day he would have to face the latter if he wanted to perform the former.
***
Sleep didn’t come easy for Caroline that night but when she woke the next morning, she remembered two crucial things. One: she was meant to begin her volunteer work at the orphanage today and two, her mother had always been an oversleeper. Which meant she should have enough time to have a quick breakfast and sneak out of the house before having to face her mother. Small mercies considering the mental turmoil Elizabeth had put her through last night.
Caroline moved quickly. She got dressed in only ten minutes and rushed to the drawing room to break her fast. Louisa was already there and seemed to find endless amounts of amusement in the fact that Caroline was doing everything in her power to keep from seeing her mother this morning. But Caroline knew Louisa understood her plight. Louisa knew more than anyone else that freedom was not an easy thing to give up. If the roles were reversed, Louisa might have left London altogether.
Thankfully, Caroline managed to eat a few toasts and swallow a couple sips of hot chocolate before she rushed out the door with Louisa, saving herself from a morning encounter with her mother. Considering the fact that Elizabeth wanted nothing more than to go on and on about Caroline getting remarried, Caroline wouldn’t be surprised if that was the first topic on her mind upon coming downstairs. Caroline wouldn’t be able to handleit. Not after she’d spent all night tossing and turning with that weighing on her mind.
How could her mother even think to reconsider marriage? Caroline had told her about the dull and loveless marriage she’d endured with Harold and had quickly learned that Elizabeth was incapable of understanding her plight. To Elizabeth, marriage was a rite of passage. A lady was incapable of becoming a woman until she was married. She was utterly useless on her own if she did not have a man to take care of her. It was a wonder how she and Louisa got along at all, seeing that they had such opposite ideals.
“Stop thinking about it,” came Louisa’s light chastisement. “It will do you no good to wear that frown into the orphanage.”
Caroline blinked, making a concerted effort to relax her features. She glanced over at Louisa who seemed content in her light blue coat, her nose flushed an adorable pink from the cold. Caroline, on the other hand, was contemplating if she should turn back for another layer of clothing, hating the fact that she could almost feel the cold snow through her boots.
“I cannot help it,” she sighed. “How could mother think to ask me to remarry?”
“Honestly, Caroline, I am not sure why you are surprised. I was certain she was up to something like that when she appeared at my doorstep.”
“I thought she was only worrying about me like she usually does.”
“I’m certain she was,” Louisa agreed with a nod. “But you must admit that it is a bit odd for her to come all the way to London just because you told her that you would be delayed a few weeks. I thought it was obvious that she had other ulterior motives afoot.”
Caroline’s shoulders slumped. She could see the orphanage in the distance, a grey and dismal looking building tucked between two other establishments and marked only by the dilapidated sign hanging lopsided above the door.
“I cannot remarry,” she protested. “It will ruin everything I have created so far. I will only go back to that mundane life I lived with Harold.” Feeling a little guilty, she added, “May he rest in peace.”
Louisa smiled and took Caroline’s gloved hand, saying, “Put your mind to rest for now. We are here for the children. Afterwards, we can think of how best to approach Lady York.”
Caroline nodded. Louisa was right, as she always was.
But pushing the thought to the back of her mind as she neared the steps of the orphanage was no easy feat, she realized. That feeling of dread that had been lingering deep within her bones clearly had no intention of going anywhere.
The moment the door opened, however, she plastered a bright smile on her face. She could at least fake it, she thought.
A middle-aged woman with a cherub face opened the door, wiping her hands in her apron. “Oh, Lady Winterbourne! Miss Tilbury! Welcome, welcome.”
“Good day, Mrs. Henry,” Caroline greeted as they stepped into the narrow hallway. Her nose was immediately hit with the smell of sugar and vanilla, but it was subtle enough for her to wonder if it came from the matron or simply lingered in the air.
Mrs. Henry smiled broadly, tucking a few curly loose strands behind her ear. “The children have been so excited for your arrival,” she said. “They have been bothering me all morning about when you two would show.”
“Then lead the way,” Louisa urged with a smile. “We do not want to keep them waiting a moment longer than necessary.”
Mrs. Henry nodded happily and slipped by them, pressing herself close to the wall since the hallway boasted a limited amount of space. They followed her to the end where there was a narrow staircase to the left and a door. She headed through the door.
What laid on the other end seemed like a drawing room and library in one. It was rather sizeable—especially when coming from such a cramped hallway. Bookshelves that were only half-filled with worn books were tucked to one end of the room, toys littered in front of them. A few small children were already playing over by that end, while the older children were busying themselves by the table and chairs on the other side. As soon as they entered, however, they all stopped what they were doing and raced over. Caroline counted eight of them.
“Mrs. Henry!” squealed a little girl with gangly arms. She could be no older than seven years old, missing a front tooth, and might be one of the most adorable children Caroline had ever seen. She led the charge despite the fact that she clearly was not the eldest.
“Hannah,” Mrs. Henry spoke in a gentle and patient tone. “This is Lady Winterbourne and Miss Tilbury. They have come to spend some time with you today.”
“What will we be doing?” asked an older boy—perhaps ten years old—standing to the back.
“Whatever you’d like,” Louisa said amicably, wearing that bright smile that was capable of charming children and adults alike. “What’s your name?”
“Joshua,” the boy said.
“Well, Joshua, is there anything you would like for us to—”
