Page 51 of An Icy Christmas Engagement
Caroline huffed a mirthless laugh. “I am hardly as stubborn as I could be. Given my current status in life, and all that I have been through, one would think that I’d learned how to be defiant in the appropriate areas in my life.”
He watched her as she gazed into the amber whiskey. “Something tells me you are not talking about my threat.”
“Oh, that is an important one, yes,” she said with another laugh. This one lit her eyes a bit more. “But I do suppose you were only doing it out of concern. I must have looked a sorry sight.”
“And a mad one,” he added and when she raised her brows, he just shrugged. “I am only being honest. You hardly see ladies walking around with nary a coat nor a shawl in sight, even if today is a little warmer than the previous ones had been.”
“I was not thinking,” she sighed. “I was just so desperate to leave that I raced out of the house without grabbing anything I needed. Now that I consider the matter, my mother and Louisa may be concerned for my well-being.”
“What prompted you to depart with such expedition?”
She sipped the whiskey. He noticed there was considerably less of a grimace when she swallowed this time. For a moment, she was quiet and he thought he might have pried a bit too much.
“You’re without a drink,” she pointed out at last. “It is not fair that I am the only one drinking.”
“I am in no mood for a drink.”
“And I am in the mood for wine.”
Cedric’s lips twitched. With that said, he felt he had no choice but to get up and fetch her the glass of wine she desired. When he returned, she wore a soft smile that made it all worth it.
“You are still without a drink,” she pointed out.
Cedric simply took her half-drunk glass of whiskey and took a large sip. She smiled broadly at that, shaking her head.
Cedric fought his own smile as best as he could. It was a little alarming how easily it came to his lips. He couldn’t remember a time he’d smiled this much since…well, since Isabella.
“My lord,” Lady Winterbourne began.
“I think we have gotten past the formalities, don’t you?” he told her.
She nodded. “Very well, Cedric. Have you ever felt as if you are not in control of your own life?”
Cedric stared at her for a long moment and she laughed mirthlessly.
“How foolish of me,” she said. “I am asking a wealthy and prestigious earl if he has no control over his life. Though I suppose I have said more foolish things.”
“I do not find the question foolish. As a matter of fact, it does feel as if my life is spiraling out of control and I am in no position to stop it.”
“As do I,” she sighed. “It is why you found me traversing the streets with a considerable lack of coverings. And my mother… I have an affection for her, yet she possesses a remarkable talent for driving me to distraction. I was quite content before she came to visit and turned my life upside down. Now, I do not know what will happen to me in the coming weeks.”
Curiosity nagged at him. He wanted to ask for more, to understand what she truly meant, but he held his tongue.
“Mothers have a way of believing they always know what is best for you.”
“Is that how your mother is?” Caroline asked.
Cedric shook his head. “Was. Before she died.”
Her face fell. “Oh. I’m so sorry.”
“Unless you were the drunken coachman who lost control of his carriage, you have nothing to apologise for.”
The bitterness in his words made him wince. He avoided her eyes, staring into the fire instead.
“What about your father?” she asked and the knife that remained lodged in his heart since their death dug in a bit deeper.
“He was with her.”
