Page 51 of The Duke's Hidden Scandal
She made for it, her fingers tightening around the journal, glancing back at the house guiltily. It would not be long before Sarah came to seek her out. Charlotte was aware that her companion seemed constantly concerned for her these days.
She sat down on the bench and opened the well-worn pages. She could even pick out where her mother’s tears mixed with her own across the ink-stained pages. She brushed her fingers over the words, imagining that they might be of some comfort to her.
Is she watching me?She wondered.Perhaps she is guiding me to the right path in life.
That was a comforting thought.
She had never known her mother was such a romantic. Earlier passages in the journal had been dedicated just to Auric’seyes or the curve of his mouth when he laughed. Charlotte felt her shoulders tense at the hours she had spent in similar pursuits when thinking of the duke.
The burgeoning feelings she held for the duke were a bright ball of light in her chest that only grew day by day. The introduction of Lord Kilby felt like a shadow set to engulf that light and extinguish it forever.
She sighed, reading a particular passage again:It's over. Father found out about Auric and me. His rage was terrible to behold. He's forbidden me from ever seeing Auric again, threatening to ruin the Ludlows if I disobey.
Charlotte looked up at the scudding clouds above her and the bright blue sky. The garden seemed impossibly beautiful, as though the world were taunting her with all these perfect things just as her own life was falling apart.
She hoped that the duke was well this morning and that the rumours that had seemed to multiply about the ballroom were untrue. Charlotte knew that many would be speaking of him today, thus was the nature of gossip and scandal. She had seen the papers already this morning, glancing at them before they were taken to her father—she wished that the press could be muzzled and never allowed to print anything unless there was some truth behind it.
She looked down at her mother’s beautiful hand and traced the letters for the hundredth time.
“What would you do, Mama? Would you change your life if you could?”
I would rather live one life in poverty with the duke than a thousand lifetimes of luxury with Kilby.
“Charlotte?” She looked up at the sound of Sarah’s voice. “Lord Kilby is here, and your father has sent me to fetch you.” Sarah’s lips pursed with disapproval. “He has been with your father for some time.”
Charlotte stopped, staring at the house as though she were walking to the gallows. The sun came out from behind a cloud, casting everything in a golden light as though to taunt her further.
“I suppose if I scale the wall and run away, you would follow me,” she said, attempting to lighten the heavy mood that had lowered over them.
Sarah’s smile was sad. “I should be impressed if you could scale a ten-foot wall at all, but you know I would follow you everywhere—undo everything—if I could.”
Charlotte reached out a hand, and Sarah clasped it tightly before they made their way back toward the house, every step a reminder of everything she was about to lose.
***
Lord Kilby stood beside her father when she entered the drawing room. Their identical smiles sent a chill through her, making her teeth grind.
“Ah, Charlotte,” her father said with a far more jovial tone than he ever used in private. “Lord Kilby has come to call on you. I must away for a few minutes to reply to a letter.” He indicated the table between the settees. “Tea!”
As her father left the room, Sarah hovered at the edges, watching Kilby intently. Sarah took a seat on the other side of the room and picked up her embroidery, giving Charlotte a pointed look.
Do not leave me,she thought desperately.
As they sat down, Charlotte made certain not to smile at him, pouring the tea with an expression of neutral interest. Lord Kilby took a piece of cake from the plate and crunched it happily, looking at the fire for a few minutes as Charlotte tried to think of a way to steer the conversation in the opposite direction to marriage.
“This is a most pleasant room, is it not?” he asked suddenly, and Charlotte glanced about her, feigning interest.
“It is a lovely room in the summer, yes, my Lord.”
“Yes, quite. Of course! The summer.”
The conversation was so stilted that Charlotte almost laughed. But when Lord Kilby began to rub his hands against his thighs in a most nervous manner, she felt dread rush through her.
“How did you find the ball yesterday evening?” he asked, sipping his tea and gazing at her over the top of his cup as though it were something he had practiced in the mirror.
“It was most diverting,” she said softly. “I did not see you toward the end. Did you leave early?”
“Missing me already!” he said with a tone likely meant to sound teasing. Charlotte heard Sarah make a noise at the back of her throat, which she masked with a cough.
