Page 62 of The Spinster's Stolen Hear
Nathan grinned. “That sounds like a compliment.”
“It is. The highest I can give.”
“In that case, thank you,” he made a foolish, flourishing bow, and that got a laugh from Miss Randall. She was still watching him, her gaze sending shivers up and down his spine.
“You miss him, don’t you?” he found himself saying.
She glanced away, drawing her lower lip between her teeth.
“Every day,” Miss Randall said at last, her voice a little choked. “It… It hurts that he’s not here. I was always closer to my father than my mother. Oh, I know Mama misses him too. I know I shouldn’t be selfish.”
“You aren’t selfish,” Nathan found himself saying. “Youaren’t. I was the other way round, you know. I am closer to my mother than my father. It hurt when he died, but not the tearing, aching pain that I know I will feel when I lose my mother.”
He swallowed hard, a lump forming in his throat. Nathan did his best not to think about what he would do if he lost Rose. What would he have in his life?Whowould he have?
“It is like a tearing, I think,” Pippa said thoughtfully. “A deep, guttural pain. It gets better with time, I know. Papa never wanted us to spend time grieving him. He wanted us to be happy, and I strangely feel as though I’m betraying himagainby not being able to do so.”
There was another brief silence after this, the two of them wrapped up in their own thoughts. His gaze was dragged back to Miss Randall, again and again.
Of course, it was not proper for him to be on the balcony. Nathan knew he would need to slip back inside long before the musicale ended. He could still hear music drifting out – somebody was playing the harp now, with a soprano warbling in time – so their time had not yet run out.
“I’ve been trying to speak to you lately,” he heard himself saying, voice a little strained. “I cannot discern whether you are intentionally avoiding me or not.”
She smiled faintly. “I am not avoiding you. My mother wishes me to avoid you. She wants me to marry a Marquess, not a Viscount.”
He nodded. This was not entirely unexpected.
“Lord Barwick.”
There was a tightening around Miss Randall’s mouth. “Yes. Lord Barwick. My mother does not consider the fact that I am not an eligible match for either you or him, on account of not having a title and not a penny of my own. I have nothing to recommend me but myself.”
“That is a fine recommendation indeed.”
The words were out before he could stop them, and Miss Randall shot him a quick, inquisitive glance that made him blush.
“And you are certainly a fine match for Lord Barwick. Better than he could hope for. I… I sense that you do not like the man, Miss Randall.”
She dropped her gaze down to her hands, fingers knotted together and resting on the top of the wall. The fresh, cool night air was beginning to feel a little too cold, but Nathan had no desire to go back inside, none at all.
“I don’t like him,” she said, her voice so quiet he had to move forward to hear it. They were closer now than he’d intended, his hand only inches from hers on the balcony wall.
Be careful, man,he warned himself.Be careful!
“I won’t marry him,” she continued, staring out at the dark scenery. “I know that now. It seems that nothing I do is ever good enough for my mother, and I can’t simply swallow down my own desires and needs to achieve the goals she has set for me. She won’t listen when I tell her why Lord Barwick is not the right man for me. I don’t know what to do.”
He bit his lip. “I’m sorry, Miss Randall. This is a difficult situation for you. I… I don’t know how to help you, but if there’s anything I could do to make your life easier, please, just say the word.”
She turned to look up at him, her eyes glimmering in the moonlight.
“Just your presence makes my life easier, Lord Whitmore.”
Had she really said that? Nathan gulped, mesmerized. She was standing close to him now, barely a fingers’ breadth between them. A warm palm slid over his, and he realised with a jolt that Miss Randall had putherhand onhis.
Hesitantly and slowly, he lifted his free hand to rest over her shoulder. She didn’t pull away, and Nathan’s breath hitched in his throat. She tilted up her chin, face turned to him, eyes wide and expectant, lips slightly parted.
She’s going to kiss me,Nathan thought, mind whirling.Or am I going to kiss her? Are we going to meet each other halfway?
He leaned down, heart thrumming hard enough for him to hear his pulse in his ears. He could feel her breath on his chin, soft and warm.
