Page 42 of The Voice of Wild Places
Watt stared at him for a moment, then knelt on the bed beside him, careful not to knock their things onto the floor.Maggie jumped onto the mattress, sneaking in beside him.She knocked Watt into Cornelius, who momentarily stiffened.Watt glanced sideways at him and said, “Sorry.”
Cornelius merely smiled, and nodded to the window.
Watt looked out the window.At first he only saw the street, buildings, and people.The types were varied, from stiff Englishmen to Turkish shopkeepers, Brazilian locals and otherwise.They walked the streets, outpaced by cars and carriage and fully immersed in their lives.In a way, it was a city like any other.A congested area full of people whose lives bounced off others in the most mundane of ways, like shopping for food or crossing the street.
But beyond the city, was the bush.
It was hard to discern, but it seemed to be what they were promised.Grassland and sparse trees, potential marshland and swamp.Really, it should not have been as exciting as it was.
But oh, it was.
Watt pulled back and looked at Cornelius, returning his smile.
“Watt, you awake?”Cornelius whispered into the vague space between midnight and dawn.Severino’s soft snores filled the room, and the wall was cold beneath Cornelius’ fingertips.
Watt’s foot jerked, heel scraping against Cornelius’ calf.He made a low noise of affirmation, one that barely escaped his chest.A pang of guilt went through Cornelius, and something far warmer.
“Nevermind—it can wait,” he whispered, his palm flush against the wall.After all this time, he’d chosen the middle of the night to have this conversation.‘Brilliant thinking, Cornelius.’
“S’ alright, what’s keeping you?”Watt murmured, and his spine seemed to vibrate against his own, which was absurd.Cornelius liked it when Watt talked like that.Long words, filled with thought and a hint of Scottish.He couldn’t tell the man that it washispresence keeping him awake, the man had hardly moved all night.Watt wouldn’t—couldn’t—understand that Cornelius was electrified by the man’s body pressed against his, and the idea that after all this time only a few layers of fabric separated them.Cornelius was pretty sure Watt was hugging the edge of the bed, but they were still squished together.How could Watt stand it?
‘Because he doesn’t like you like that.You’re lucky he likes you at all,’ an ugly part of his brain said.
And yet, Cornelius had no choice but to speak exactly what was on his mind.It was his nature.In a low whisper, he asked, “What is a aventiage?”
Watt tensed for a split second before rolling over, careful and quiet yet effortless.Cornelius did the same, but with much less grace.They were face to face now, sharing air and mildly confused looks.It was dark, but there was enough moonlight to reflect in Watt’s eyes.
“A what?”
Cornelius took a deep breath, and he did his best to speak slowly and quietly.“In the last couple of letters you sent me, you kept referring to me as … your aventiage.To be honest I really couldn’t understand much.They were hard to read.Jumbled.I’m not … I understand why you might’ve been confused writing them.But I remember that came up a few times.”
Watt blinked, long and slow.His fingers twitched in the space between them, brushing against the sheet.They’d be so easy to take, and nothing Cornelius hadn’t done before.But that was before.This was after.
Voice thick, Watt said, “I don’t know if it makes me feel better or worse that you received them after all.I never knew, but I’d always hoped that you didn’t.Before, anyways.I’d thought maybe that was why …”
‘Why you didn’t write me back, a soldier heading off to a war and unsure of return.’He didn’t say it, but it hung between them all the same.
“I kept all the letters you sent me.I—” Cornelius shut his eyes, unable to say what he needed to with Watt staring at him like that.“I was so angry with you.I thought why should I answer your letters if you never answered mine?But I wish, now, that I had written you back.How cruel of a person am I not to have done so?”
“I understand, I—”
Cornelius opened his eyes, despite the burn in them.“No.Please don’t forgive me for something I haven’t forgiven myself for yet.”
“I never received yours, you know.I didn’t know they existed until last month.”Watt blurted out, then bit his lip.
Cornelius blinked.“What?”
Watt grimly explained his situation with the mysterious package and the state the letters were in.He said, “I know it sounds absurd, but I swear that’s the truth.”
“But who kept them from you?”Cornelius asked.His voice shuddered, and his heart raced.
“I don’t know.I thought maybe my father, but he would’ve let them burn.”
Cornelius felt like he couldn’t breathe.Oh, he’d been such an asshole.All this time, all these years.Cornelius whispered, “You never knew.They never told you, and you don’t …” He shook his head a little.“But we had a whole conversation, you and me.I thought at least you would’ve remembered that.”
Watt shivered, and his beard scratched against the pillow.“I’m sorry Cornelius, I don’t remember things well, especially from that time.All I know is that I was forbidden to see or talk to you again, or any of your family, and we never visited Harbor Point after that year.I fought for you, I really did.But it wasn’t enough.I should’ve tried harder to find out what happened, to reach you and tell you that I missed you.But Father was so …” Watt sighed.“I’m truly sorry.”
Cornelius closed his eyes, fighting tears.A tentative hand rested on his jaw, and a thumb wiped at his tears.Cornelius inhaled and opened his eyes, surprised.Watt startled and began to pull his hand away.Cornelius reached up, laying his hand over Watt’s and securing them both in place on his cheek.
