Page 66 of The Voice of Wild Places
Watt closed his mouth, trapping all his questions and protestations between his teeth.It was clear Cornelius was hiding something, and Watt thought they were past all of that now.It stung, and Watt told himself it was only the aches and pains of the long journey that had Cornelius all clammed up.
He dug out a relatively fresh change of clothes, his second pair of boots, and a comb.He glanced at the flap, then over his shoulder at Cornelius, who had his back to Watt.
He cleared his throat and said, “Do you mind if I go first?”Cornelius visibly stiffened as if struck by lightning.Watt hurriedly added, “I can go—”
“No,” Cornelius said, his voice high.He coughed, and a bit more casually said, “No, it’s fine.We’ve shared a room before, nothing new there.Just let me know when you’re done.”
True, they had shared a room before, and changed clothes in the same space.But Watt felt …
“Okay.I'll try to be quick.”
Cornelius chuckled lightly, but said nothing else.
Watt made quick work of it, dunking a scratchy washcloth into the water and scrubbing his face with it before soaping up and moving onto key areas.The cool water more than made up for the texture, and he sighed.He washed and dried his upper half first, then slid his shirt on before moving onto the bottom half.His cheeks flamed the entire time, and he forced himself not to look over his shoulder.
He couldn’t feel Cornelius stealing glances at him, and if he was, well … there was no harm in looking at the human form.Watt finished washing without further delay.He pulled on his socks, boxers, and trousers in a rush.He laced up his boots, then hurried out of the tent with stammering promises to bring back fresh water for Cornelius.When he returned, the man’s shirt was off.
Watt walked right into one of the center support poles, damn near spilling water all over and taking the tent out in one go.“Shit!”
Slightly alarmed, Cornelius glanced over his shoulder at him, brows raised.“Alright there?”
Watt blinked, stricken by the flush in Cornelius’ cheeks.“I—uh—yes.Water.I have water.Fresh water.”
“Just set it down there.Thank you.”Cornelius nodded to the crate beside his cot.His shoulders were rigid with tension, and his arms were crossed tight over his chest.A thick band of red surrounded his ribs, where a brasserie might have once been.Watt had never seen a brasserie in use, but he didn’t think they were supposed to be worn so tight.
“Watt?”
Watt blinked, then forced himself into motion.He set the basin down where Cornelius had instructed, then retreated to his side of the tent.He busied himself with unpacking, withdrawing everyday items he’d want later.His notebook, sketchbook, the rocks he'd collected yesterday, and his pipe to name a few.This last one he loosely stuffed with tobacco, doing his best to ignore the sounds Cornelius was making.Clips coming undone with a fine snap.Fabric rustling to the floor, or perhaps sweeping over Cornelius’ skin.He closed his eyes, trying to banish the image of Cornelius’ body into the darkness of his mind.
But there was no forgetting the soft rolls around Cornelius’ middle, the flesh spilling pleasantly over his waistband.The breadth of his wide and well endowed shoulders, which were far more muscular than Watt had anticipated.The small mole neighboring his spine, which matched the one alongside his ear near perfectly.Watt had a sudden desire to press his thumb over it.To feel if it was smooth, or an artifact to be caressed over again and again.
“I’m done,” Cornelius said, sounding a little breathless.
“I’m going for a walk,” Watt said in a rush, unable to turn around.“Lay of the land.Getting the lay.Of the land, I mean.I’ll be back.”
He fled the tent, embarking on a very long walk.
June 12th, 1930
Cornelius had made a mistake.
He did his best to smile, even if he wanted to cry.Eat, even if he couldn’t taste the food.Talk, even if he wanted to scream.
What had he beenthinking?
Well, he knew the answer to that.He’d thought there had been a moment between them, perfect for revealing naked truths.Not that he’d have shown Watt anything else but his back, but still.It had been a truth that he offered to few other people.And what had Watt done with it?Run away as soon as possible, refusing to look Cornelius in the eye.Even now, seated directly across from Cornelius at a table with over a dozen other people, Watt would not, or could not, bring himself to look at Cornelius.It was—
It was fine.
Cornelius had forgotten the line between them, and Watt had firmly twanged upon it, reminding Cornelius of its heavy existence.They were colleagues.Partners in their expedition, and friends of a sort, but nothing more.The trip had brought them closer, but in the end Cornelius was who he was, and Watt was who he was.They were never destined to be partners.There would never be a future for them, in Brazil or outside of it.Not that Cornelius had been searching for a future between them, thinking beyond today and into tomorrow.Of what could be, if they stuck together after this was all said and done.If there was an after, anyways.
Truly, Cornelius should've been thanking Watt, he'd sorely needed that reality check.
Conversation flowed around him in the canteen, niceties were exchanged and tidbits of gossip shared in hushed tones.Cornelius and Antônio sat opposite Watt and Andrea on handmade picnic benches, and Joaquim's crew sat around them.Severino and Joaquim had taken dinner to Joaquim's tent, a fact that no one seemed to think much about since Joaquim apparently always ate in his tent.The curious side of Cornelius desperately wanted to know if his suspicions were correct, but it wasn't his business.Terezinna asked Watt about their trip while the rest of the interns listened, enthralled by Watt’s quiet and frankly boring answers.Yes, the trip went well.No, they hadn’t encountered any trouble.Yes, it had been long.No, Watt hadn’t been to South America before.
No one engaged with Cornelius, no doubt due to the frown he couldn’t get rid of, which only deepened his foul mood.He watched as Watt deftly offered Antônio control of the discussion, which had shifted to Bacairy Post.Watt seemed lost in all the attention given to him, and was glad to be rid of it if only for a moment.For a brief moment their eyes met, and Watt’s expression wasn’t unlike that of a spooked owl.Antônio began to come out of his shell and explain the shift away from fishing and into agriculture when Andrea opened his mouth, stealing the spotlight away from him.
Andrea threw an arm around Watt’s shoulder and said, “You know, we were in The Valley of the Kings together, Walter and I.The excavation was enormous, and it took us years to find anything.And then along came Walt—”
