Page 71 of The Voice of Wild Places
Andrea flushed.He reached for Cornelius’ hand, but the warning look in Cornelius’ eye stopped him.His fingers curled into a fist, which fell to his side.“You don’t have to believe me for it to be true.What I did, it’s unforgivable.The behavior of a man spurned and threatened.”
“Threatened?”Cornelius laughed again.He hadn't drank in over a month now, but he felt drunk with fury and delirium."When did I ever threaten you?When did I ever do anything but support you and care—” Cornelius jerked his gaze away from Andrea’s pleading stare.He whispered, “I trusted you, Andrea.And you betrayed me in a way that no one ever has."
Andrea ran a hand through his hair.“I know.”
Cornelius glared at him.“Is that why you’re here?Are you going to warn me this time?”
“Yes, actually.But not—I wouldn’t do that to you, Cornelius.Not again.I’m here to apologize for then, and how I acted when you arrived, and to ask you to stay.”
Cornelius blinked, uncomprehending.“And why in the hell would I do a thing like that?Why wouldyou?”
Andrea smiled tentatively.
Cornelius scoffed in disgust.“Do you really think I’d take you back?”
Andrea quickly looked away, brows pinching in concentration.Cornelius tracked his line of sight, but it appeared the man was simply lost in thought, staring at the canvas of the tent.Quietly, and without looking at him, Andrea said, “No.But I thought maybe you’d have some common sense.You like it here, I can see it.And this quest you’re on, it’s pointless.You know it, and I know it.We all do.Things may be … broken, between us, and I admit my part in that.But that doesn’t mean I want to see you search after certain death.It is dangerous country, and for what?Skeletons?”
Cornelius sighed.“Something you wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.”
“I made a promise, Andrea.And Ialwayskeep my promises.”
Andrea swallowed.He finally met Cornelius’ gaze and said, “I’ll leave.If that’s what it takes to get you to stay, I’ll do it.”
And this.This gave Cornelius pause.He searched the other man’s eyes, and found nothing but honest truth.He believed that if he asked Andrea right then to leave, he would.Unfortunately, this meant that Andrea had somehow changed.While he was still Andrea, there was a facet to him that had emerged in their time apart.He also knew that he wasn’t obligated to forgive him.
“Not everything is about you, Andrea.It’s like I said.I made a promise.”
Andrea flexed his hands open at his sides, then nodded jerkily.He exhaled and said, “As stubborn as ever, Cornelius Sawyer.”He extended a hand to Cornelius, as if to shake.“I’m glad to have known you.”
Cornelius pulled back the flap of the tent.“Goodnight, Andrea.”
Andrea left, giving Cornelius a sidelong glance as he passed.Once he was gone, the tent was oppressive.Too quiet.His lungs itched for a cigarette, but he'd finally gotten the darts back down to a sane number.He paced the small area between his and Watt’s cots, running his hands through his hair and the conversation through his mind over and over again.
How dare he.
How dare Andrea come in and tell Cornelius exactly what he’d wanted to hear for years upon years, when it no longer had any effect at all?The part of his heart that used to be saturated with anger and grief now felt empty, an endless wasteland colder than Lake Michigan.It was disorienting, like he’d been carrying a great weight only to realize he hadn't really been carrying anything at all and was now off kilter without its burden.
After ten minutes of pacing and fretting, Cornelius realized he was waiting for Watt.This infuriated him.He’d put his heart into another man’s hands, again.And what was worse, this time heknewthe outcome would result in his heart being broken, and welcomed it.He knew that Watt didn’t love him back, and yet he wanted him anyway.He wanted his quiet presence, his reassuring wisdom and endless friendship.
After twenty minutes, Cornelius couldn’t take solitude any longer.He escaped the confines of the tent and lit up a cigarette, doing his best to forget about his troubles for a little while.
July
Long Haul
July1st,1930
There was noise behind him.
Watt froze, fingers tightening around the straps of his pack.His heart raced, and the crisp morning air wasn’t so cold anymore.It was still dark out, and everyone was usually asleep at this hour.There was another sound, ground cracking beneath a careful foot.One of those jaguars, perhaps.He wasn't far off from camp, but far enough to be easy pickings for any big predators.Watt reached for the revolver tucked into his waistband, slowly turning around to search for the source of the noise.
Cornelius came up behind him, and Watt’s hand fell to his side.He was fully dressed with his gear upon his back, sweat dampening his brow already.He gripped his cane in one hand, the other was fisted at his side.He raised his hand and opened it, palm up, to reveal the piece of quartz Watt had left behind for him.He glared at Watt who stared back at him, unsure what to say.Cornelius' stubborn frown was illuminated by the fading moonlight, and Watt wanted to reach out and smooth it into a smile.
“I’m coming with you,” Cornelius whispered, barely there but firm all the same.His hand fell to his side, and his furious eyes beheld all sorts of accusations.
“You don’t have to,” Watt said, and tried very hard to mean it.He kept hearing Andrea's words over and over again, followed by Severino’s distant plea from weeks ago.He hadn't meant to eavesdrop either time, but last night had been the final nail in Watt’s heart.“They’re doing good work here, real work.I can go on alone.This isn't—I won't drag you into madness, Cornelius.”
