Page 31 of The Voice of Wild Places
Watt sighed, but it was more like a shudder.He was quiet for some time again before starting his tale in an even quieter whisper.“It was only four days, but Cornelius, it felt like fouryears.Hundreds of men died, deep in the woods and surrounded by the enemy.It was cold and miserable, nothing but bullets and explosions, mud and blood.Towards the end they even had flames and gas.Thatdamngas.”
Watt cursed, shaking his head.“Laying there, slowly burning alive from the inside out, all I could think was why couldn’t it have been a bullet?Something quick and personal, not—” Watt broke off abruptly and sniffed.Breath sawed in and out of his lungs.Cornelius was very careful not to look his way, unsure what to do other than listen.Men were fussy about tears, and Cornelius didn’t want to interrupt Watt’s truth.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—the point is—I don’t want to ….”He trailed off, sighing.“I don’t know what I’m trying to say.”
Cornelius understood, though.“If anything happens, I won’t let you suffer.”
Watt flinched beneath Cornelius' arm.When had he rested it across Watt's legs?
Cornelius looked up at him then.His eyes were wide and glassy, and Cornelius had a sudden urge to take his hand.He waited for Watt to speak again, but when it became clear he wouldn’t, Cornelius said, “Don’t worry.I’ll make damn sure you’re headed that way before making any rash decisions.And for what it’s worth, I’m glad you made it home.”
Watt stared at him, eyes searching.Always searching with such intent.Then he smiled, and a few tears escaped from his eyes in the process.He laughed a little and whispered, “Okay.Thanks.”
For a moment Cornelius could see that young man laying on the sands of Harbor Point, before life had its way with him.Hopeful and tentative.Ready for adventure, a promise freshly rolled off his tongue.
Cornelius nodded curtly.“Then it’s settled.You'll leave me behind if needed, and I'll put you out of your misery if needed.Now, if you don’t mind, we have a long day tomorrow and I’d like to turn in.What sweet dreams we'll have.”
Watt's smile grew.“Alright, boss.”
Cornelius looked at him incredulously.“I don’t think so.”
Watt shrugged.Cornelius got up to shut the lights off, and when he returned to his own bed Watt had already laid on his back and folded his hands over his stomach.The way he usually slept.His eyes shone in the moonlight, head turned as he watched Cornelius settle into a similar position.
“Good night, Cornelius,” Watt murmured.
Unbidden, Cornelius’ muscles began to relax, one by one and with great relief.“Good night, Watt,” he whispered.
Watt’s chest rose and fell with great effort, and not another word was said between them.There didn’t need to be.Not when there was even and slow breathes, the rustle of fabric, and the call of the world outside their window.
C'mere Girl
“Doyouthinkyoucould deal with me for the rest of our lives?”
Watt turned his head, blinking those calm eyes of his.Sand clung to his cheek, and the setting sun beat down upon a face caught between boy and man, transforming every dark eyelash into threads of gold.His hair used to shine, too.But his father forced him to cut the bronze treasure down to nothing a few days ago, transforming Watt into a civilized man in time for his birthday.
The day had gone well enough, but the relief that had come over Watt when Cornelius suggested they ditch the last few hours of Watt’s own birthday party was strangely satisfying.There was a version of the boy that only Cornelius saw, and was only ever fully revealed at their spot on the point, right on the lake.And while on the outside Cornelius appeared to all the world a growing woman, he had started to learn he was no such thing.He was thinking of telling Watt, and nearly did right then.But he didn't have enough words, not for that, not just yet.
Distant and thin wheatgrass whispered beneath the wind’s influence.Birds called from the open sky whilst their younglings cried from meticulous nests in trees that tossed and turned in the wind.The constraints of polite society were weightless in this place, and practically invisible when the friends were here, together.Sometimes Cornelius' siblings came and the other boys would swim or canoe, or simply lay on the sand and tell stories.On special occasions they'd have picnics, or eat what was left of their ice creams from Juilleret's.For now they were utterly, and blissfully, alone.
“Say what you mean, yeah?”Watt said, but not unkindly.
Cornelius’ fingers dragged through the sand at his sides, and he struggled to keep his breathing cool.“They fought again last night, and … Papa said he’d consider it.Sending me away.”
Watt’s nostrils flared, a magnificent show of surprise on his part.“He won’t.He won’t throw away your potential like that.I’m sure it was only to soothe her, he’s said it before.”
Cornelius chewed on the inside of his cheek before admitting a partial truth.“Something’s different,” he said, but really he wanted to say, to scream, that he was different.His body was changing, and with that exponential change was panic, which expressed itself in rebellion.As such, he had no one to blame but himself for this predicament.His Mama would only take so much, and this time she'd been pushed too far.
Cornelius carefully added, “He found out she was on the phone with Linden yesterday, and I thought—I thought he was going to give in.Allow Mama to arrange my future while I’m helpless to fight back, ship me off to that dreaded school so I can become a proper lady, an educated housewife.But they both love you, and I …” He cleared his throat, delicately stepping over a sentiment they both knew existed
Watt’s skin was tanned by the sun, but the flush in his cheeks was still evident from all the words Cornelius didn't say, and their gazes skittered away before hesitantly meeting once again.They had loved each other from the very first time they met.Cared for another.But as time went on, Cornelius knew the way he loved Watt wasn’t the same way he loved his meddling Mama or indulgent Papa, or his siblings that were so unlike Cornelius it was as if they were born on different planets.
Watt stared at him, expression hopeful and eyes ever so fond, and in that moment Cornelius knew he felt the same way.The back of Watt's hand brushed against his knuckles, soft enough to be mistaken for sand but infinitely warmer.His strong, persistent attention gave Cornelius the strength he needed to ask him the biggest favor of their lives.
“I—we—could be free if we married,” Cornelius whispered.“Think of all the discoveries we could make together, and the places we could go.Nothing would have to change, it could just be you and me, like it’s always been.It doesn’t have to be—it can be an arrangement, Watt.You can do what you like … be with who you like.Then there’ll be no reason for me to go away, and I … I just can’t be what she wants me to be.”
Watt inhaled sharply through his nose, turning his attention to the sky.Hot emotion built in Cornelius’ throat in response to Watt’s silence, and he closed his eyes in an attempt to keep stubborn, heated tears at bay.
It was a ridiculous thought.Watt was three years older, and had a lifetime of opportunities ahead of him.The reality of it was they lived in two different worlds, and only this transitive space and time that was summer in Michigan allowed them to co-exist.Besides, Watt’s father would never allow his only son to marry someone so infamous as a laborer’s child.
