Page 61 of The Voice of Wild Places
“Cornelius, I—”
“Please?”
Watt stared down at him, his body rigid beneath Cornelius’ lingering touch on his side.He barely seemed to be breathing, and Cornelius wondered if he should pull back.Watt’s eyes were dark this evening, and his jaw set tight.He searched Cornelius' face for some great epiphany it seemed, but none came.Finally he said, “Okay.”
Maggie escorted Watt back to the fire with the others while Cornelius obtained the first aid kit.Watt sat cross-legged opposite the fire from Severino and Antônio.Crackling light flickered across his tanned skin, highlighting the dark blond hair that clouded over his muscled chest, thick stomach, and even a little on his back, where ribs met spine.The hair looked coarser than it was on his arms, and Cornelius wanted to find out for himself if it was.Instead, he knelt beside Watt, and he could feel Severino and Antônio watching as he began to flush the wound with first hot but not boiling water, then iodine.His skin was hot to the touch and flushed red, taut with swelling despite the slight drainage from where he must’ve been bit.Cornelius bet anything it’d been one of those garapata ticks that had swarmed them.Hells, that had been ages ago.Was the head still embedded?
It was quiet for some time, in a sense.There was the neighboring forest and the soft whisper of grass tousled by the crisp night air, the occasional pop in the cinders or sizzle of grease upon fire.Cornelius leaned back and considered the wound once it was cleaned, debating whether to pack it or not.He could fit the tip of his finger in there, and it probably wouldn’t hurt to put some gauze in.But he hadn’t found the head of the tick, and that worried him.Had it gone deeper, or fallen off?
Watt’s eyes flicked to his, his crow's feet were pinched with pain.
“Sorry,” Cornelius muttered.“Almost done.”
“It's fine.”Watt smiled tightly.“Good thing your first aid skills are still impeccable.”
Cornelius chuckled.“Growing up with a litter of brothers will do that to you.”
“What is your story?”Severino asked, gesturing between them.Antônio was checking the meat, but it was clear he was listening as well.
Watt glanced over his shoulder at Cornelius, waiting for him to give a version of their story that fit best.But in that moment Cornelius was very tired of stories, and he wanted nothing more than to deal in truths.
He decided not to pack the wound, but he did cover the area with gauze and a bandage.He distracted himself from the feel of Watt’s tanned skin beneath his fingertips by dredging up old memories.In English, allowing Severino to translate his story for Antônio, he said, “When we were children, his family visited the place I lived during the summer, when it is most beautiful.We met at the local ice cream shop, and I tagged along when my brothers offered to give him a tour of town.I was always following Jimmy around, even if I wasn’t supposed to be, and it only got worse when this one showed up.”
Watt smiled.“We never minded.”
“This is true.”
“Why not?”Antônio asked in Portuguese.“Why not follow your brother around?”
Loathe to do so, Cornelius bid Watt to put his shirt back on.He ached to light up, but he didn't.He sat down beside Watt so he was facing Antônio and Severino properly.Cornelius told his story in English, his brain unable to come up with Portuguese words for most of what he wanted to say.“It wasn’t the done thing, girls playing with boys, running around town and getting into trouble.Papa could convince Mama to turn the other cheek most of the time, but when the ritzy types came into town it always put her into a mood.”
Cornelius finished a little breathlessly.Although Severino already knew, it was still terrifying.And he didn't know how Antônio would react, who Cornelius respected greatly.Watt's elbow brushed against Cornelius', but he didn’t mind.In fact, he wanted to lean against Watt’s arm and stay there awhile.
Brows furrowed, Antônio said in English, “You are not a girl.”
“My body is.Not my heart.”
“Oh.”Antônio's face creased with concentration as he mulled it over. Severino glanced between Antônio and Cornelius, looking slightly bemused.It must’ve been nice to feel so lighthearted, and not like your gut was in your throat.Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything.Maybe this was a mistake.Watt pressed his knee against Cornelius’, and in response he flashed Watt a quick, nervous grimace.
“What happened next?”Antônio asked.
A sigh of relief escaped Cornelius, and so did the rest of the story.They had been friends, meeting up every summer when the Johnsons came to town.They'd taught Watt how to be a kid, that much he was sure of.But during the tail end of that last summer, Watt fell ill.
Cornelius had kept him company, and when it looked like he might not pull through, he changed his body to match his heart, and went to tell Watt the truth.It had started to storm, but Cornelius didn't care.Watt had to know who he was before he died.He came in through the same window he always did, and told a delirious Watt everything.
But Callum Johnson had been on the other side of Watt's door, listening to everything.Waiting for the perfect moment to strike, Cornelius had thought.He'd taken Cornelius by the arm and dragged him away from his friend, from shelter.When he threw Cornelius outside, he dislocated his shoulder.Cornelius screamed, but it had been nothing compared to Callum's furious roar, banishing him from his property, from Watt, from everything that mattered.Then he'd shut the door in Cornelius' face, locking him out in the rain.He'd made it home hours later, drenched and shivering, both from the pain and the cold.He hadn't even seen his parents or siblings yet dressed as he was, hair sheared, but they didn't care.
The confrontation between Callum and Papa was one that occurred while he'd been sleeping, but Jimmy had described it to him in great detail.After a heated exchange, Papa had knocked Callum to the ground with a single hit, sending blood spraying everywhere.He came home, told Cornelius he was banned from the Johnsons' property, and that was the last Cornelius had heard of the Johnsons for ages.Anything he heard about them was gossip or news he sought out. The loss of contact continued until early this year.Severino did not know this part, or if he did Cornelius had not told him.Cornelius did not tell them about the lost letters between them, or the feelings he harbored for Watt.He had a sense Severino knew the way he cared for Watt went beyond the care of a friend, but then again Severino often smiled like he knew all the secrets of the world.
After it was all said and done, Cornelius’ chest hurt from the bombardment of cigarettes and truth, and his head was light from the release in pressure.He couldn’t get a clear read on Antônio, the man was as serious as a stone.Eventually, he asked in Portuguese, “So what you are.That is not normal.”Antônio shook his head.“No.Accepted.”
Cornelius exhaled shakily.In kind, he said, “Not generally, no.”
“Then why tell me?”
“You asked.And I wanted you to know that I—we—think of you as kago~ro.”
A stricken look crossed Antônio’s face, fleeting and sudden but there all the same.“You said I was a spy.”
