Page 77 of The Voice of Wild Places
“I’ve been through worse.”
“Me too.”
Watt tugged against the slight grip, reaching upwards for Cornelius' neck.His fingers curled against the side of Cornelius’ throat, and his fingers tightened around Watt’s wrist.
Watt pulled Cornelius down, and kissed him.
It was not at all what he thought it would be like.It was gentle and chaste, almost disbelieving in nature.Cracked lips met dry lips.Cornelius stiffened, nose brushing against his own as he pulled back enough to catch Watt's eye.
“Watt,” he whispered.“Are you sure?”
“Aventurier.Please,” Watt whispered back.“Embrasse-moi, si tu veux.”
Cornelius exhaled, and the air was caught between them as he bent down for another kiss.He released Watt’s wrist, trailing his fingers up Watt's arm before tangling them in the sweat damp hair curling at the base of his neck.His other hand tightened in the fabric over Watt’s collarbone.
In turn, Watt cupped the back of Cornelius’ head, tugging him down insistently.Watt yielded his mouth to Cornelius who slid his tongue in, exploring with a slow sort of desperation.A need to feel every inch of Watt’s mouth, inside and out.
A little moan escaped Watt, barely a whimper even, but Cornelius’ grip in his hair tightened all the same.That drew another sound out of Watt, and Cornelius hummed in response.Thiswas what he imagined kissing Cornelius to be like.Intentional and deep, all consuming and full of care.
For a minute, the world was simple.He was kissing Cornelius, his friend.His confidant.His person.More than that, it was as if his soul was being embraced, comforted, and seen.His entire body lit up with the sensation and attention, and after a little while he had to draw his knee up in an effort to hide his arousal, shifting Maggie off to the side.She huffed in protest, then grumbled at their antics.
Cornelius didn't straighten to his full height, but he did pull back enough to leave Watt with a gentle parting kiss on the lips, then the side of his mouth.His fingers loosened their hold, and both his hands slid down to rest on Watt’s chest.He studied Watt, lips curved into a soft smile and eyebrows pinched in confusion.Like Watt was the most curious and wonderful thing he’d ever seen.
“I didn’t know you felt that way,” Cornelius finally said.
Watt inclined his head, cheeks hot.“I told you how I felt.”
“About men, but not … me.”He lifted a shoulder, gaze drifting elsewhere.“Not all men who enjoy men want men likeme, if you get my meaning.And that’s fine, people like what they like.”
Watt guided Cornelius’ attention back to him with a gentle palm to the cheek.Cornelius’ eyes were wet, and his lips were pressed into a harsh line.“I likeyou, Cornelius.”
Cornelius looked like he was fit to argue, but in the end he sighed, leaning into Watt’s touch.“God help you then.”He closed his eyes and admitted in a whisper, “I’m fond of you too, Watt.You have no idea.”
Watt looked forward to finding out.
For Now
July30th,1930
Cornelius slept fitfully and was awake for the day long before Watt was.Long before the sun, even.Hypotheticals, irrational fantasies, and worst case scenarios loomed in his mind.And none of those had anything to do with Watt, who brought along an entirely different stream of thoughts.Hells, they’dkissed.
He’d been kissed by, and kissed in return, Watt Johnson.It was wonderful, heartwarming, and everything Cornelius had ever wanted.It was a kiss to end all others, because surely nothing could be better than that.Except for perhaps … a second kiss.
No.He couldn’t think like that.Watt had been emotional last night, vulnerable and not in his right mind.He’d wanted comfort, and Cornelius had given it to him.He should’ve known better, been the responsible one for both their sakes.But Cornelius hadn’t been in his right mind, either.He never was, but especially not when it came to Watt.
What would Watt desire in the light of a new day, faced with all the difficulties ahead of them?
Surely not Cornelius, not irritable and arrogant and weak Cornelius.
And if all he wanted was comfort in this difficult time, could Cornelius do it?Could he hide his heart and give Watt what he needed?
He wanted to say yes.
But deep down, he knew he couldn’t.
He couldn’t be with Watt … like that, not without being able to express his love.And if he couldn’t be selfless for the person he loved, because he did love Watt, what right did he have to love him in the first place?
Typical, selfish Cornelius.
