Page 31 of The Forgotten Life of Ella Moon
Ella hugged herself, trying to exhale the heaviness that filled her.Whydid it feel like her heart was breaking?Breakingfor a man she didn’t love.Ellafell to her knees, too tired to fight the sob that was clogging her throat.
“Ella, it’s not what you think betweenWilliamand me.”Sissyfell to her knees next toElla. “Youmust let me explain.”
Ella looked up atSissy.Shecouldn’t stop the tears that fell. “It’snotWilliam.”
“Oh.”SissypulledEllainto her embrace. “Mr.Tenebris.”
“Why,Sissy?Whydoes it hurt?Itshouldn’t hurt like this!”Ellasobbed intoSissy’slap.Noneof this made any sense.Therehadn’t been enough hours in the day for her to loveThane.Sheknew so little about him, and yet it felt like he was woven into her bones.
“I know, my sweet.”SissysmoothedElla’shair back and let her cry.Theylay in the tall grass, the milk cow watching them with her liquid brown eyes.Brightyellow finches fluttered to the long grass stalks, cracking seeds with their orange beaks.
When the tears had finally stopped and the pain dulled to an ache, she realized it wasn’tThaneshe loved; it couldn’t be.Itwas hope.Hopethat there was more to her life than the inn and marryingWilliam.Thatshe was destined for something more.Butnow she realized there was nothing else.Andthat was why everything felt so heavy and taxing.Notbecause she lovedThane.
“Will you tell me the truth?”Ellasat up, wiping her tears away. “Doyou loveWilliam?”Ellacouldn’t bear the thought of being the reasonSissy’sheart broke.
“No.Idon’t know him.Thekiss meant nothing.Andhe loves you,”Sissysaid, smoothingElla’shair back.
Ella twisted a piece of grass around her finger.Sheshould confess that she didn’t loveWilliameither.Buthe was her last chance now.Heronly way out ofRiverton. “Butif you two were?—”
“There was no ‘we.’Doyou want to marryWilliam?”Sissyasked, moving to sit behindEllaand combing through her hair.
Ella shrugged. “Idon’t know whatIwant anymore.Ithought…”Shelet the rest of the words drop off.Shehad thought what?Thatshe lovedThane?Thatwasn’t possible.Thenwhy did it feel like it was?
“What aboutThane?Doyou love him?”
“I don’t know.I’mtired,Sissy.Iwant to be me.ThemeIwas before all of this.BeforeRiverton.BeforeWilliamandThane.Idon’t want to beEllaMoon.”
“And who do you think you were?”Sissystarted braidingElla’shair.
“I don’t know.ButIwasn’t made for washing dishes and making beds.”Ellaclosed her eyes at her words. “Ididn’t mean that you were.”
“Oh, hush.Iknow whatIwas made for, and it’s laundry.Andchildren and baking cookies duringYule.”Sissysmiled.
“AndWilliam?”Ellatried again.
“I don’t know.Thingsfeel a little messy, right now.”Sissytugged playfully onElla’shair. “YouandThaneremind me a little ofDarknessandDawn.”
Ella shrugged. “Beforeor after he broke her heart?”Hernight withThanefelt like a lifetime ago.
“You’ve heard the story?”
“Only thatDarknessbrokeDawn’sheart.Whatdo you think he did?”Thatwas the only thingThane’sstory had left out.
Sissy shrugged. “Darknessis not only a very handsome god, but one that would get in trouble.Whichis how he brokeDawn’sheart.”
“But what kind of trouble would break a heart?”Ellalooked over her shoulder toSissy.
“I don’t know the ways of the gods.Maybehe didn’t tell her that her gown made of butterfly wings looked nice.Orhe brought her the wrong flowers from hisMidnightGarden.”
“Do you think she is that shallow?Whatif he kissed another?Ortold another he loved them more thanDawn?”
“Maybe.Whateverhe did, it was bad.”Sissytied off the braid.
“I bet he said something to hurt her.Handsomemen often have sharp tongues,”Ellamumbled.
“Ugly men have just as sharp of tongues.”Sissywove a piece of grass into a crown. “Wouldyou forgiveThaneif he said something hurtful?”
“It doesn’t matter.Hefound what he was looking for.”Ellalooked back to the inn.WereThaneand this woman planning their wedding?Washe telling her how much he missed her?Holdingher like he had heldEllathat night?Thesethoughts made her sad and her heart ache.
