Page 96 of How We End
If I had made different choices.
And tonight, I would need to make a choice.I couldn’t love Julian and still do my job.Because the rest of the world believed you didn’t fuck around when you loved someone.
Julian caught my gaze in the mirror.He rinsed his face and came over to me.I was pretty sure there was nothing this man couldn’t do that I wouldn’t find sexy.We hadn’t talked about what was next since getting back.There hadn’t been time.Between games, practices, the gym, PT, and team appearances, I wasn’t sure when he found time to sleep.
“What’s wrong?”He brushed the hair from my shoulder.
“I’m going to miss you.”Part of that was true.The other part was what I had been putting off.
“It’s only two days.I’ll be home Thursday.”He ran a fingertip along my shoulder.“Is that really what’s going on?”
“We haven’t really talked about what’s next,” I said, moving around the many anti-aging products I had acquired.
“There won’t be much until the season’s over.It’s not a good time.Murry keeps fucking around with the lines.I got McGrath up my ass.We got to do something or we’re going to lose the western conference.”
“I know.I meant…” I blew out a breath.What the fuck did I mean?My financial advisor said I had enough to live somewhat comfortably, not the life I was used to, for the next six, maybe seven years, but not another thirty to forty years.I could sell the place in Silver Creek.That would bring another million.But it wouldn’t be enough.Which meant I either kept working, which might give me another five years, or I depend on Julian.
I wasn’t sure I liked that idea either.
“I’m having dinner with Maverick tonight,” I confessed, hoping he would give me some kind of hint as to where we were headed.
“Okay.Have fun,” he said, walking out of the bathroom.
“Have fun?”I followed Julian into the bedroom.I knew how he felt about Maverick.That was not the response I expected.“What is that supposed to mean?”
Julian was reading a text message.“Fuck.Cole’s out with a lower body.It meant nothing.”Julian was still texting someone when he walked into the closet.
I had thought maybe Julian would be a little more concerned about this.“I can cancel if that would be better.”
Julian came out of the closet, buttoning up his pants.“No.It’s fine.”His phone chirped again.“No fucking way.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, just the lineup.Listen, we both have jobs to do, and right now they are both demanding that we do them, so let’s go do them and we’ll figure everything out after.Have you seen my tie?”
“Which one?”
“The black one.”
“Yeah.”I brushed by him into the closet.Maybe I was wrong.Maybe the value of love had changed in the years since I professed it.If you asked my clients, they would say they loved their family.Maverick swore he loved Dana.So I guess people who loved each other did fuck around.Maybe I was the only one having a problem with this.
Julian was on the phone.
“Yeah, I saw the lineup.Is this a fucking joke?You can’t put Anders on the third line, not with Cole out.”Julian grabbed the tie.“Kayden is not big enough to protect him.You really don’t believe that bullshit.I have nothing against Walker, but Anders is my center.Yeah, I’m on my way.”He hung up.
“Everything okay?”I asked.
“It’s fine.I knew what you did when we met.I understand Maverick is Maverick.”He was looking at his phone as he spoke to me.“And I know we need to talk.But can I get through these next three games?”His phone started ringing again.“It’s Anders.”
“Yeah.It’s fine.”I was trying not to take any of this personally.I knew these last few games had been tough on Julian.I heard everyone complaining about how Julian’s game had changed.How bad Vegas had been.
“Andy, yeah, I saw it.No.”Julian gathered the rest of his things and slipped on his jacket.“It’s not going to happen.Because I fucking said so.Maybe for once I should throw my fucking name around.Everyone else does.No, Murry can fuck off if he thinks that’s how tonight is going to go.Yeah, I’ll be there in ten.”He hung up and slipped on his coat.“I gotta go.Murry is fucking around with the lines, and it will not work.”
“Okay.”And like he knew what I did when we met, I also knew what he did.I knew the game would always come first.I followed him downstairs.“Good luck tonight.”
“Yeah, you too.”He opened the door, then cupped the back of my head and pressed a kiss to my forehead.“I’ll let you know when I land.”
“Be careful tonight.”
