Page 98 of How We End
Maverick’s eyes searched my face as he chewed slowly.I wondered if he could see it.The thread that connected us was fraying.Fifteen years I had been with Maverick, stuck in this weird space of being with him and yet not being with him.
“About?”He turned his attention back to his steak.
“Us.”I didn’t know what my life would look like tomorrow, and I wasn’t sure I cared.I’d figure it out; I always did.
Maverick sat back and wiped his mouth on the linen napkin.“Does this have anything to do with that hockey player?”
It had everything to do with Julian, but not in the way that Maverick thought.I thought this, what I had with Maverick, was all I deserved.Moments between the flash of gold and blue neon.That I wasn’t worth the time and effort it took to love someone.“Does it matter?”
“Yes.”He refilled his glass of wine.
“Why?”I sat back, matching his posture.I always knew that someday Maverick and I would need to end.He’d be sixty in a few years.Not to mention I was thirty-five, well past the age of being the other woman.I never thought about how it would end, just that we would end.
“Because I said it matters.You had no deposits in December.The suite has sat empty since November twenty-ninth.If there is something going on, I have a right to know.”
I owed Maverick a lot.Without him, I didn’t know what would have happened to me that night.Or any night after that.I wouldn’t have the career I had.A career that had made me a lot of money.But my personal life was mine.It was all I had.“I’m retiring.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me.I’m done.Consider this my two weeks.”
Maverick laughed, tossing his napkin on the plate.“Is it the money?Do you want more?”
“No.”I picked up my glass, forgetting it was empty.I reached for the bottle, but Maverick moved it out of my reach.“I don’t want to do this anymore.I’m going to be thirty-six in a few months.It’s time I retire.This is a young girl’s game.”
Maverick surveyed the restaurant before turning back to me.“No.”
“No?”
“You heard me.Stop seeing other clients.I don’t care.But I am not done.”Maverick motioned for the check.
I took a sip of water.The room felt hot and my head fuzzy; it was either from the wine or from what was about to happen.I had never told Maverick no.I held everything he had done for me over my head.“That’s too bad because I am.”
“How are you going to support yourself?You live in the house I pay for.You are on my insurance.I take care of your taxes, make sure the right amount of money goes into your retirement.Is your hockey player going to do all that?”
“No.Maybe I’ll hire Margo, the actual person who does all those things for me.Makes sure my taxes are paid, that I have insurance.And there are plenty of places to live.”
“And who gave you Margo?”
“You can’t really believe that we were going to keep going until one of us died.”My money was on him dying first.
“I didn’t plan for us to end because that is not an option.”
“Not an option.You don’t own me,” I reminded him.The waiter brought over the check.
Maverick looked over the check as if the price mattered.“I want you to think about what you just said.Think about all that I know.How that would affect a certain hockey player’s contract negotiations.”
The waiter glanced at me, then back to Maverick, I’m sure connecting the dots as to what was happening.
“Careful, Mr.Sands.We both have secrets we wouldn’t want getting out.”I knew what he was doing.He did this all the time.It was how he controlled people and the situation.He brought up the thing that they didn’t want to talk about.He laid it out for the world to see.The gambling debt of clients.Lies of employees.The sins of others.Including me.
“We’re just having a conversation between two business associates.And I’m not ready to end this contract.”He smiled at the waiter, another tactic to control the narrative.He wanted to be seen as the good guy in this.
“No, we aren’t.You’re propositioning a prostitute and threatening blackmail.And that, Mr.Sands, is illegal.”I could also play that game.I could lay it all out for the world to see.I learned early on it was easier to hold my profession over my client’s head rather than the other way around.If I had learned that lesson sooner, I wouldn’t have ended up in an LA jail, beaten and bloodied.Then, I had been embarrassed to say I was a whore.Now I didn’t care.“And now I’m leaving.Good night.Do tell your wife your whore says hello.”I stood and walked from the restaurant, knowing he would not let me have the last word.I got to the front door, not sure what the fuck I should do.I was staying in his house.His car had picked me up and brought me here.
“What the fuck was that?”Maverick handed the valet his ticket.
“I don’t know; you tell me.Since when do you threaten my clientele?Are you also going to out Dr.Richard Valentine or Mr.Cullen?I’m sure his competitors would love to know they keep a whore on the side.”Maverick’s designer suit was cut to fit him perfectly, his graying hair neatly combed back.A perfect smile created by the best dentist in Las Vegas.Everything about Maverick was what he wanted you to see.The persona he had carefully created.When I first met him, that persona only came out when he was on the casino floor.Now I rarely saw the real Maverick.Sometimes I missed him.
