Page 85 of How We End
“Sure.”
Julian pulled a broken hockey stick out of the back seat and went over to the truck.Outside snow crunched under my boots, and the sun had started to set.Julian went over to the man, and they talked for a bit.The man took the stick and then led a large bay horse out of the trailer.The horse’s breath was white in the cool evening air.Julian came over to me.
“Merry Christmas.”He motioned to the horse.
“You bought me a horse for Christmas?”I had no idea where this was going.
“No.The horse is not yours to keep.But…” He climbed into the saddle.“The ride is.”He held out his hand to me.
“You know how to ride?”
“I lived in Warroad.I know how to mend a fence line, ride a horse, and drive a tractor.Give me your hand.”
“Ah… okay?”I gave him my hand, the man from the truck holding the reins as Julian pulled me up into the saddle.It was like a scene from some rom-com.The horse shifted under my weight.“Are you sure about this?Can this poor thing carry both of us?”
“Old Buck is fine,” the man said, patting the horse’s neck.“Enjoy the ride.”He tipped his hat before heading back to the truck.
“Hang on.”Julian’s breath was warm on my neck as the horse started plodding down the trail.
“Where are we going?”It was quiet as we entered the wooded trail.No one had ever done anything like this for me.
“You’ll see.”Julian easily guided the horse through the trail.One hand around my waist, the other guiding the horse.
We rode in silence as I tried to figure out where this was going.What the horse ride had to do with anything.I liked horses, but I didn’t think I’d told him that.
“Are you impressed yet?”
“Yes, actually, I am.What other hidden talents do you have?”I leaned back into his warmth.“When did you learn to ride?”
“I worked at a farm for a couple summers when I was younger.I needed something to fall back on should the whole hockey thing not work out.When the chores were done, we’d ride horses down to the lake.”
“I can’t see you being a farmer.”I couldn’t picture Julian being anything other than this.“How old were you?”
“Thirteen when I started.I did it for three years.Then turned sixteen and everything changed.”
I could hear the longing in his voice.The trail wound up the hill, the horse plowing through the snow.“What changed?”
“My dad.Heads up.”He nodded to the clearing that came into view.Someone had cleared the snow away and set up blankets and a small fire.
“What is going on?”I watched him dismount.His nose and cheeks were flushed with the cold air.He reached up and helped me down.I walked to the edge that overlooked the valley.Below, the frozen lake was peaceful.A couple of cabins were tucked amongst the trees.The sky was bright orange and pink.The sun would soon be setting behind the mountains.It would be a perfect place to see a sunset.I blinked back the tears as it all fell into place.“Is this the big event you had planned?”
“Yep.”Julian stood behind me.“How will we ride off into our happily ever after if you don’t believe in sunsets?”
“It’s not the sunsets.I don’t believe in the?—”
“The promise?”He caressed my cheek.“I promise I’m not going anywhere.”
He led me over to the blankets and pillows by the small fire.I sat down, and Julian pulled me into his embrace.The setting sun was a blur in my unshed tears.I curled up next to him and watched the sunset.And it was beautiful.The bright oranges and pinks faded to soft colors as the sun slipped behind the horizon.The sky turned pale blue as the moon rose.
I sat up.The glow of the fire cast shadows over his face.I took in this moment, letting it replace the one from my memory.Those three words sat right at the tip of my tongue.I’d said them that night to a boy who I thought loved me back.I thought that was what love looked like.The front seat of a Chevy truck.His hands up my shirt.His sweet words in my ear.But two months later, I learned that was what heartbreak looked like.
“And tomorrow?What will that promise look like?”It was more than just tomorrow; it was a lifetime of tomorrows.
“I’ll still be here.Probably with something stitched up, but I’ll still be here.”
I didn’t stop the tears that fell.“I think I might love you.”The confession slipped so easily from my lips.And saying the words felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders.
“I know I love you.”He cupped my cheek.“I knew it that night in November.I thought if I stayed away, I’d protect you from the bad part of my life.But I couldn’t.I would’ve confessed it to you that night.But I thought you’d heard all those empty promises too many times.So I wanted to prove it.”
