Page 124 of Sunkissed Colorado
Zandra was glaring murder at me as she turned around. Every bit as furious as when she’d first returned to town. She marched back over to me. “This is exactly why relationships with coworkers are a bad idea,” she hissed.
“No, don’t do that. Don’t make this bigger than it is.”
“Because that’s what I always do, right? I get it all wrong and then I blow everything up.”
From my peripheral vision, I could tell everyone was staring. “We’re not finished,” I said to her.
“This conversation is. We need to get back to work.”
She spun on her heel, and for now, I let her go. Right now, it didn’t seem I had any other choice.
THIRTY-TWO
Zandra
“Hey, Zandra. What happened back there?”
I was in the back of the restaurant, supposedly inventorying our stock of condiments, as if our supply of tubs of mayo was life or death.
Really, I was hiding.
Winnie had followed me back here, concern written all over her face. Pretty much everyone in the back of the house had heard Callum shout my name after we came out of the office.
“Did you two have a fight?” she asked gently. “It seemed like something personal.”
Which just upset me even more. I clutched the clipboard tighter. “I can’t talk about it.”
I knew I was doing the same thing I’d done so many times in the past. Shutting down when I was upset instead of talking about it. It was either that, or I would get angry. Which was what Ian had always said, right?
You have anger issues, Zandra. You should see someone about that.
Callum had next to nothing in common with Ian. But it seemed like they could agree on that point. And it hurt more than I wanted to admit.
Callum didn’t trust me. How were we supposed to have an actual relationship when he felt like he had to tiptoe around me? When he assumed I’d blow everything up if I didn’t get my way?
The heartsick feeling inside me said this was Ian all over again. Callum had gone behind my back. He expected the worst from me.
Logically, I knew that wasn’t the full picture. Callum had given up something he’d wanted because he cared about me. But all those same old fears were bubbling to the surface, poisoning everything. What if Callum regretted this? If he decided I wasn’t worth the trouble? Or simply realized I wasn’t enough for him.
When I’d come back to Silver Ridge, I’d thought I was at my lowest. But now I realized what it would truly mean to loseeverything. Not just my best friend, not just my reputation and respect among my coworkers.
To lose the man I loved more than anything.
If things went bad with Callum, then I truly could lose it all.
I sleepwalked through the rest of dinner service, ignoring the curious and concerned glances of staff members. And especially Callum, who seemed to be following me everywhere with his eyes, on the verge of saying something though he didn’t open his mouth.
If I’d wanted to hurt him, maybe I would’ve said he had no idea what real relationships were like. But thelastthing I wanted to do was hurt Callum, and it wasn’t even a fair thing to say.
Because what did I know about healthy relationships either? I was a mess.
I was just…scared. So scared of everything that mattered to me being taken away.
Later that evening, I was sitting in the office again, staring at spreadsheets until the numbers blurred. There was a knock, and I knew exactly who it was.
“Come in,” I said.
Callum opened the door, shutting it quickly behind him. “It’s after closing.”
