Page 57 of Fathers of the Bride
Stepping back, I asked, “WhereareKelly and Avery?”
“We’re hiding them until more people get here so they can make a big, big entrance,” Lissa explained.
“And this big, big entrance is okay with my daughter?”
“Of course, it is,” Pudge said. “Avery’s thrilled so she’s thrilled.”
I didn’t like the sound of that.
“Isn’t this wonderful,” Lissa said. “We were so lucky to get the pier. It was booked for this couple’s fortieth anniversary but, well, they didn’t make it.”
“They died?” I asked.
“Oh God, no. They got divorced. Lucky for us!”
“We need selfies!” Raj screamed, and then the three of them crushed together and started taking photos. I had a horrible feeling in my stomach. Raj would put those photos on Instagram, and it was very likely they’d be called out as cultural appropriation, or worse, racist—what was the boy thinking?
“Raj, don’t you think—”
“Shush. I’m working.”
Honestly, he knew perfectly well there was such a thing as Internet racist and real-life racist. Real-life racist being when a friend says something that’s not okay and you correct them. Usually they apologize, or at the very least stop saying things like that around you. Either way, it’s over rather quickly. Internet-racist is when a friend tweets or posts something not okay, and everyone and their brother makes a point of ruining their lives. And… it’s archived; just in case your friend ever gets back on their feet.
Raj had to know this was going to end badly.
When they were done taking and uploading the photos, Pudge said, “Oh, there she is now!”
I turned, expecting to see my daughter. Instead, heading toward us was a young woman, tall and blonde. Balancing on extremely high stilettos, she wore a strapless cream-colored bandage dress that made her look like a very chic mummy. I couldn’t tell exactly how old she was, but she was somewhere between sorority girl and junior league.
“This is Avery’s cousin, Martha. She’s going to be Kelly’s maid of honor.”
Oh, no,I thought. This was the girl they thought could be maid of honor? She held out a limp hand, whether she wanted it shaken or kissed I wasn’t sure. I went with shaking it.
“Are you looking forward to being in the wedding, Martha?” I asked, because it was a better choice than my actual thoughts.
“I adore weddings. It’s like watching a lioness take down her prey.” Lissa and Pudge guffawed, something I thought odd since it was their son who’d just been described as prey.
“Don’t you get it?” Lissa asked. “It’s a thematic joke.”
“Ah, very funny,” I said, though I didn’t think so.
“How is the wedding planning going?” Lissa asked me.
“Just fine,” I said. “Miles is taking care of most of that.”
“Well,” said Pudge. “Hopefully, after seeing what we can do with this party he’ll loosen up and let us help. We do really want to help. You understand, don’t you?”
Lissa added, “It’s a very special day for a very special boy and girl. They should have everything we can possibly give them.”
“It’s the most important day in a girl’s life,” Martha added. “And she’s marryingsowell.”
There were so many things wrong with her saying that. I decided to ignore them all, and said, “No one needs to worry. Miles will make sure the wedding is beautiful. And exactly what Kelly wants.”
“But that’s the question,” Martha asked. “IsKelly telling you what she wants? Or is she telling you what she thinks you want to hear? I mean, I have parents, too. I almost never say anything honest to them. Ever.”
“You haven’t met my daughter yet, have you?”
“Martha’s an excellent judge of character,” Pudge said. “She has a degree in psychology.”
