“And what about Raj’s engagement ring? What about that? Is that another mistake?”
“I told you, I had nothing to do with that. He bought it himself!”
“Did you even tell him you’re not engaged?”
“Yes! Of course. And I moved out. You know I’ve moved out. I’ve been staying with you. Mostly.”
“Then why is he buying himself an engagement ring?”
“It’s business.”
“You mean like when you fired me?”
“Oh my God. We’re back to that.”
“Hasn’t it occurred to you that the whole Kayla thing is exactly what you did when we lost the show?”
“No, that hasn’t occurred to me because it’s not true. There were no Kaylas involved when that happened. And no Rajs for that matter.”
“You just went ahead and decided things for everyone. Now you’re trying to do the same thing all over again.”
Was that true? Was I always deciding things for other people? For my family? And if Iwasdoing that, wasn’t that… love?
“Miles, I don’t know that it’s fair to compare this to losing the show. I mean, the channel wanted you gone. You remember the ratings were declining. You were already blaming yourself.”
“I was not. It’s not my fault the country was going through a very trying time.”
“That didn’t have a lot to do with a style show.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I didn’t quit because we needed the money.And… I didn’t quit because I thought it was better for you to blame me than to blame yourself.”
“Oh, that’s just ridiculous. You ruin our lives and now you want to be declared a hero. No, just no. I won’t have it.”
“I’m not trying to be a hero, I’m trying to expla—”
“Not trying to be a hero? You just said you fired me so I wouldn’t feel bad.”
“That’s a little simplistic.”
“I don’t care if it’s simplistic.”
I decided I’d better finally tell him the truth, the thing I’d been keeping quiet about all along, the thing he didn’t know.
“Miles, there’s more to it than you know. The network did a focus group and they decided you were too gay.”
“I was fired for being gay? And you never told me?”
Oh God, he was going to scream. I could just tell. An octave higher and few decimals louder he yelled, “THAT’S DISCRIMINATION. I COULD HAVE FOUGHT THAT! I COULD HAVE GOTTEN A LAW—”
“Miles, you were too gay for the gays.”
“Oh.”
35
Miles Kettering-Lane