Page 47 of Georgiana
“…when I heard Darcy say he couldn’t make this one go away, I thought my heart would stop. What did he mean by this one? I was immediately reminded of the incident with Lady Celeste and my imagination fell into a deep well. I’ve never been taken over by rage before and I let it consume me in the foulest manner.”
“You never spoke to Darcy, or even to Georgiana?”
“No and I regret to say I began to look upon her abduction by Slade in a different light. Had she been willing and only cried out when he became too rough with her? She was only in her nightgown and no one knows how long they were in the room together−”
“Enough! No wonder your life is in shambles. You have known this young woman for almost her whole life. If you think for one moment she would agree to an assignation or hasty marriage to Sir Reginald Slade, then you belong in Bedlam. Anyone with an eye to see knew she loved you. She lit up when you came into the room and although I can’t verify this, I believe she’s loved you for a long time, maybe even longer than you have loved her.”
“That would be impossible.”
“And now we come to the crux of the problem. Answer this question honestly, Maxwell. Have you ever spoken to Georgiana of your true heart, or did you assume everything would fall into place once you were married? Does she even know your fears and why you did this absolutely stupid thing?”
“I’ve never told her about Celeste and her treachery.”
“Surely you gave her some inclination as to why you were leaving so soon after your wedding?”
“I…” He thought back to the letter he wrote before leaving Adborough Hall, where he told her she could be in no doubt as to why he was going back to London, alone. How could she know? The whole two days it took them to reach his estate he’d not spoken more than a dozen words to her, and none of them respectful. He treated the scullery maid with more esteem.
He fell into the chair again and dropped his head into his hands.
“I thought not.”
“I have since learned she is quite innocent of any machinations I imagined and am at a loss at how to proceed. I have wronged her grievously, Mother. There may be no turning back.”
“No, there is no turning back.” She stood and smoothed down the front of her skirt. “You created a fine mess and for once I am not going to lend you aid. I must take my leave as I promised George we would leave for his estate when our interview ended.”
“George is here? I thought you said he wouldn’t leave Catherine’s side.”
“He also didn’t want me traveling alone.”
“Is he in the other parlor?”
“No, he chose to wait in the stables. Like your brother, he has no desire to engage you in any way until you’ve made apologies. All of us are displeased with you, Maxwell. This is NOT how I raised my sons to treat their wives, let alone any woman of any standing. Do not bother to see me out.”
With that, she exited the room and he heard her call to Benson to bring her cloak and advise George she was ready to leave. He sat in contemplative silence before he sat behind his desk and brought out Georgiana’s last letter, noting that his hand shook.
October 27, 1814
My darling Maxwell,
This will be the last ‘letter’ I write as my journal has arrived and I now have a lovely leather-bound book in which to jot down my dreams and wishes. In some ways I will miss writing you. Penning my thoughts in this format has allowed me some time to heal and fill the lonely hours. The rest of my time is taken up with keeping Sir Waddlesworth out of the cook’s domain. He is determined to find every scrap of meat she drops.
Mr. Mason and I visited the tenants again to check on those to which I’d taken some needed food stores
I cannot finish this as my brother has arrived and I depart this night for Pemberley. I am now fully aware of what you think and my heart is truly broken. Anna is packing my trunks as I write, so I must sign off and tuck this letter away until I have returned to Pemberley. I know not how I can go forward. I am such a fool and can only find comfort in the fact no one else knows of my stupidity.
Max dropped his head into his hands and groaned. He was the fool, not Georgiana. How could he, for even one minute, have believed her as being a woman of loose morals? He did not deserve her love and once she reached Pemberley, he knew Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam would take her in hand and advise her to annul the marriage.
His heart constricted and a physical pain shot through his chest. He couldn’t lose her, but he also couldn’t storm up to Pemberley and demand his wife be returned to him. Legally, he could, but if he wished to have a wife and a normal marriage, he had to make amends. And make amends fast.
Even though he’d not heard from Adborough Hall, he knew – without a shadow of doubt – his wife was innocent of all the treacherous things he’d despaired over. He reached for his stationery and dipped a new quill into the inkpot.
My darling wife, Georgiana,
May I call you Georgiana, for that is how I think of you…
As he sanded, then folded the letter to be sent, sinking his signet ring into the soft wax, he felt a burden lift from his shoulders. There may be no turning back, but he would create a new trail. One that held only him and his love. He had to trust God to make straight his crooked path.
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