Page 108 of When We Fall: Part Two
I went straight to my bedroom and grabbed clean clothes out of my dresser before going to my shower. My plan was to clean up a little and go back out. It had been my routine as of late. I really didn’t sleep. My eyes were rimmed in black, and I was losing my mind from the stress, grief, and everything rolled into one.
I hadn’t had a moment to cope with my parents’ deaths. With Rosalie. With Fox and E. Nothing.
It had been non-stop violence for weeks now, with no end in sight.
I punched the tiles, busting open my knuckles as I let out a choked sob.
What the FUCK?
I punched the tiles over and over, tears rolling down my cheeks, the water red from all the fucking blood I had on me. My own mingled with it and swirled down the drain.
Warm arms encircled me.
“Come here, brother,” Cole murmured.
I collapsed against him, weeping.
“Let it out. Fucking let it all out. I’m here. I’ve got you.”
I buried my face in his neck, my arms wound tightly around him as he held me.
“It’s going to be OK,” Cole continued softly. “It will be. It has to be. I promise, man. Keep it together for just a little bit longer. For Fox. For E. For our girl.”
My body shook as I continued to cry.
“Let’s get you cleaned up. Get some food?—”
I crushed my mouth to his, silencing him.
He froze beneath my lips, but it was just as well. I broke off the kiss and grasped either side of his face with both hands.
“We-We have to let her go?—”
“You need to sleep,” Cole whispered, his voice wavering. “You’re losing it, Enzo.”
“Kill me,” I whimpered.
He widened his eyes at me as I continued to hold his face.
“Fucking kill me. This is all my fault. Please. Just end it. I can’t even look at her. Fox told me this would happen. I didn’t listen to him. I can’t. I just fucking can’t, man. I’m weak. I’m so fucking weak.” My voice cracked as I sobbed loudly.
Cole was quiet for a long time before he finally cleared his throat.
“You’re not weak. You’re hurting. We all are. You’re doing what you can with what you have. You can’t fucking quit on me. You’re all I fucking have. Even our fucking girl is snuggled up next to someone else. I swear to god, Enzo?—”
“We can go together,” I choked out. “With Rosalie. Meet Fox and E on the other side. Rosalie needs Fox. I ruined everything. I have to fix it. I-I’ll do it. I’ll go upstairs right now and do it?—”
“Stop. STOP!” Cole shook me roughly. “Don’t you even fucking think about doing something so fucking idiotic. Do you hear me? I swear to god, Enzo, if you touch one fucking hair on her head, I’ll send you to hell. Alone. Is that what you fucking want? An eternity alone?”
I wept, shaking my head. “No. No, I-I want my family back. I want a redo button. I’d do so many things differently.”
“You don’t get a redo, brother. You get akeep fucking goingbutton. I urge you to use it.” He released me and stepped out of the shower, leaving me alone, my guts churning at the complete lunacy I’d just been brave enough to utter.
I slid to my ass and sobbed, my head in my hands.
Everything was fucked. So fucked.
But one thing I knew. I would do what Fox wanted. Even if he and E came back, I’d do it.
