Page 221 of When We Fall: Part Two
“I-It’s OK. It’s nice. I-I like it. Bianca is really lucky to have you.” She sniffled.
I wiped away her tears. “I-We can go into the second bathroom. I can wake Trent and make him get out of the bedroom so we can talk?—”
She shook her head and placed the bear back into the crib before going to the window and staring out at the city.
I hesitated for a moment before moving to stand behind her, wishing I could hold her.
“I’m sorry about Ryder. I know you must have seen us on the couch. Nothing happened. I would never. I mean, I kissed him. A lot.”
I breathed out.
“He told me everything. It’s not an issue. If you decide you like Ryder, you have my blessing. He’s a good guy.” I couldn’t see her face, but she sighed softly.
“I feel like I’m interfering in your life. In Trent and Ryder’s lives. I don’t need a babysitter. I promise I’m OK.”
“It’s not that,” I said carefully. “We know you’ve been through a lot. We don’t want you to keep feeling alone?—”
“I am alone, Ani!” She turned to me. “And it’s OK. I need to be for a little bit. It’s great that you guys try to take my mind off things, but I can handle being alone sometimes. I won’t hurt myself. I-I read the letter Fox left me. I’m going to keep going. He wanted me to. I just… I need to breathe. To get back to living. That’s all. I-I want to go look at an apartment later today.”
I stiffened at her words. “You can stay here?—”
“I have a job interview. At a diner nearby. It’s part-time. And Gus at the music center said I can offer lessons there too, so I’m probably going to do that.”
“What? No. No, LeeLee. I don’t want you to work?—”
“I have to stand on my own feet, Ani. I’m alone now. I need to be strong enough to survive. I don’t have any ties that will hurt me now. I’m free.” She shrugged. “Ryder said he and Trent will pick up my car from the house for me. I was wondering if you’d text the guys and tell them they’re coming so they don’t lose it on them.”
I swallowed hard but nodded. “OK.”
“Thank you,” she said, smiling up at me, her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “I actually have some money for you, too. For letting me stay here.”
“No,” I said fiercely. “Absolutely fucking not, Rosalie. I’m not taking it. You’re my friend. My… my… best friend. You never have to pay me for anything.”
“I still want to,” she said. “It’ll make me feel like I’m being useful. Let me. Please. I don’t want to be a leech. Maybe this apartment will be nice, and I’ll be moving out soon. Until then, please take the money.”
I ground my teeth, knowing she wouldn’t let this go. I nodded.
“Thank you.” She reached out and hugged me tightly.
I wrapped my arms around her and held her back.
“How about we go out today and shop?” I said. “I-I’ll look at the apartment with you. Make sure it’s OK. Get you a different dress.”
She pulled away and gave me a bashful smile. “You don’t like my dress?”
“Quite the opposite,” I said thickly. “I like it a little too much.”
Her cheeks darkened at my words, and I immediately hated myself for saying them because they had no place in my vocabulary since I was engaged to someone else. I wasn’t thetype of guy who flirted with other women when I was with someone.
“I’ll let you pick out the next one,” she said.
“Deal.”
She pulled away from me, a genuine little smile on her lips. “We should go. Ryder might try to make pot pancakes while we’re gone.”
I laughed at that. She knew him too well.
“Apartment is a bust,”I said as we walked out of the dingy, tiny hole-in-the-wall place. There was no way in hell I’d let her move into that place. It smelled like piss and misery on a hot Sunday afternoon.
