Page 194 of When We Fall: Part Two
I grabbed the bottle of liquor I’d taken from Enzo’s office and proceeded to drink greedily from it, slowly becoming drunk and disoriented.
I blinked through my tears after nearly finishing the bottle and stripped out of my clothes before pulling on my favorite shirt of Fox’s. In nothing but his t-shirt and my panties, I grabbed the book he wrote for me and went to his room.
I sat on the edge of his perfectly made bed, opened to a fresh blank page, and began to write everything that had happened since he’d stopped writing.
I cried during the entire thing, drunk and in such a mess of emotions.
When I got to the end, I wrote the paragraph that made everything make sense.
And so she reunited with the man she loved on that mountaintop he promised to meet her at. It just wasn’t the way it was meant to be. Sometimes the missing piece can’t be found in one lifetime, so we will wait together to get it right in the next.
I closed the book, wiped my tears, and lay back on Fox’s pillow, his ceiling spinning above me. I could still smell his cologne. I cried softly, breathing him in, praying I’d never forget the way he smelled. How his lips felt on mine. How strong his hands on my body were. How no matter what, I always felt safe with him.
It took me a moment to realize the pillow felt lumpy. I reached beneath it to find one of Fox’s guns. Loaded.
With shaky hands, I fumbled with the safety, my heart pounding hard.
I could be with him again. It would only take a moment. I knew enough about the human body to know the best place to aim the gun to make it go fast.
“I-It’ll only hurt for a moment,” I whispered in a slur, lifting the gun. “F-Foxy. I’m scared.”
I closed my eyes, imagining his face. His smile. His words.
“It’ll be OK, Rosie. I’m with you. You’re my brave, strong girl.”
In my mind, he reached his hand out for me as he stood against a beautiful mountainous background. Beautiful, lush, green trees were around him. His old dirt bike was beside him. His blue eyes sparkled like he was on the verge of telling me the best joke. Fox always loved the forest. The trees. The wilderness. He said it brought him comfort. It was a quiet place where he could be alone with his thoughts, as he had many.
I exhaled, the cool metal barrel of the gun against my lips.
“Foxy,” I whispered.
It was likely that Colten and Jamie would hear the shot. I couldn’t avoid that. They knew I was hurting. My parents would break, but they’d understand. They knew what Fox meant to me.
But that was it.
I had no one else in this world.
I didn’t write any goodbye letters. No last phone calls. Nothing. Who would I even call now?
Tears streamed down my cheeks.
I clutched The Missing Piece in my other hand as I parted my lips, ready to end it all.
“Rosalie,” Colten’s soft, urgent voice called out. “Fuck. Rosalie.”
I cracked my eyelids open to see him kneeling in front of me. I hadn’t even heard him come in.
“Please,” he choked out. “Don’t.”
I didn’t move. I continued to hold the gun against my lips.
“It’s not worth it. I know you’re hurting, honey, but this isn’t how you make it stop. Give me the gun.”
“I’m going to see Foxy,” I whispered. “He’s waiting for me on the mountain. He said he was.”
Colten’s Adam’s apple bobbed.
“Please don’t do this. I care about you. You’re hurting. Let me help you.”
