Page 305 of When We Fall: Part Two
“Please. Kill me. Fucking kill me. I’m so miserable. I-I don’t want to be here anymore. I want to die. I want to die. I wish it were me and not Fox. Fuck. Please, kill me. Please,” I rasped, rocking faster. “I don’t want to be a father. I-I don’t want a baby. It should be my sweetheart, not her. Not fucking her. She stole it from me. She took it, and they still killed Fox! They lied. They fucking lied to me.” I sobbed so hard I couldn’t breathe.
Good. I hope it fucking killed me.
“Want me to put him down?” Cole asked through the hysteria.
“No,” Enzo answered. He reached for me, his hands on my face. I tried to jerk away. I rarely let them touch me. Now wasn’t the time I wanted human contact.
I fought against him, but he was relentless. Finally, I gave in and collapsed against him, my fingers twisted in his shirt.
“K-Kill me, brother. Please. I’m begging you to e-end my misery.”
“Never,” Enzo said fiercely as he held me tight. He kissed the top of my head. “I love you, E. I will save you. Believe that. Life is going to get better. I swear it. I fucking swear it.”
I didn’t believe that for a second. We’d lost everything.
“You can’t be drugged to deal with things. We have to get you clean. You’re barely functioning. This is something we should have sorted out a long time ago. You’re getting worse. We love you, Ethan. We fucking do. We need you to get better so you can have the life you deserve. When Rosalie comes back to us, we need you healed. For her. Please. I’m begging you to do this, if not for her, for you. You deserve to be happy. You fucking deserve it more than anyone else in this world.” He sobbed softly. “I love you. Please, E. Don’t leave us. Keep fighting. You deserve a happily ever after.”
I cried with him.
Cole joined us, his arms around us both as he let out a choked sob.
“I’ll take care of everything. I’ll keep doing it. If Rosalie has to hate me so you can live, I will do it for you. I will do anything for you,” Enzo continued. “I owe you everything. It’s yours. All of it. Just please keep fighting. Can you do that for us, E?”
“Y-Yes. I-I can,” I husked out, clinging to him. “I can. I will.”
We stayed that way for a long time before I was calm enough to breathe properly. My body relaxed, and I wiped at my eyes.
“I’m sorry. For everything,” I said. “I am going to work on my shit. I-It’s so hard when these memories won’t go away. Whenever I look at myself, I want to vomit.”
“You’re beautiful,” Cole said fiercely. “E. Don’t ever think you’re not.”
I wiped at my eyes. “I-I know how I-I look down there…” my voice trembled as disgust rolled through me. “H-He wanted to castrate me. I have so many scars. Bite marks. It’s disgusting.”
“He is a fucking monster who will get his,” Enzo said fiercely. “He will. Once we find his ass, you can have your turn on him.”
I nodded, my throat tight.
“We could all jerk off together,” Cole suggested brightly.
I snorted through my tears at him as Enzo let out a sigh.
“Hey, I’m not being a perv, but hear me out. We bonded a long time ago fucking around with girls together. We’ve gotten off in front of each other loads of times. I think this will be good for all of us. It’s not like any of us are getting laid either. It’ll get you used to being in a safe space with people who love you in that sort of intimate setting.”
I wiped at my eyes again. “I-I don’t want you guys to see me?—”
“We don’t have to,” Cole cut in. “You can sit over there with a blanket over your junk if it’ll help. I think integrating us again will be a good thing.”
“You just need to get off,” Enzo muttered. “Horny fuck.”
“I was with Rosalie last. I-I don’t feel right about what I did, OK?” Cole’s voice was soft. “I fucking don’t. I wish I hadn’t done it. She-She probably hates me even more now. She already believes I-I cheated—” He broke his sentence off and looked away, a muscle thrumming along his jaw.
“It’s because of me. Had this not happened, you guys wouldn’t have lost her. It’s my fault.”
“It’s not,” Enzo said firmly. “It’s fucking not, E. It’s the assholes who took you. It’s my fault for not listening. It’s never going to be your fault. Ever. I never want to hear you say that shit again. Understand?”
I stared into his dark eyes, my heart hurting, before I nodded weakly.
“Cole and I agreed to do this,” Enzo continued. “We knew how it would look. What would happen. We accepted that. We did this for us, for you. We did it because we chose to. We could have just told Rosalie everything, but we knew what it meant to you. How you needed to heal from this nightmare. And we would keep doing it for you. We’re family.”
