Page 31 of No Way Home
Aunt Christy was all of five-foot nothing and might’ve weighed a buck fifteen. But she bounded forward, taking charge like she was a force to be reckoned with. “I’m only explaining this once, so listen up.” She fanned a deck of cards. “There are two of every card. For example, there are two king of clubs, two red hearts, two jack of diamonds. You’ll drawone and whoever draws the match? That’s your partner. Easy peasy. Everyone understand?”
“Yes, Mom,” my cousin Maddie called. “We’re not idiots.”
“I mean, some of you are,” Holden said, lips pursed like there was no other explanation if Maddie thought talking to her mother that way was a good idea.
“Got it!” Anna answered cheerfully.
“Yup,” her husband, Blue, a retired NFL quarterback, said, punching his left hand into his right. “Let’s do this.”
“There are no trades,” Christy said loudly. “No refunds, and no complaining. You get who you get and you don’t throw a fit. And don’t think we won’t know. Tally is writing it all down.”
Charlie’s mom, Aunt Tally—pregnant belly round as a watermelon—held up her phone with the Notes app ready to go.
Christy drew a line in the dirt with the toe of her shoe. “Single file, right here.”
I waited, letting everyone go ahead of me. Magnolia and Griffin were at the front and I needed distance. Lots and lots of distance. Sure, the odds of getting paired with Magnolia were slim. But if it happened? I’d need time. Time to breathe. Time to meditate. Time to say goodbye to my sanity.
Because nothing—and I mean nothing—could prepare me for spending hours next to her in those booty shorts. I would lose my ever lovin’ mind, as Granny liked to say. No, I couldn’t end up with Magnolia. Could. Not. I’d had a hard enough time staying away from her on campus when she was fully clothed.
I’d suspected for a while that God really disliked me. My mom said that wasn’t how He worked. But all the times He’d thrown me and Maggie together proved otherwise. And if Magnolia ended up as my partner today, there would no longer be any doubt.
As the line inched forward, I tried not to think about it. I balanced a small stone on the toe of my shoe and kicked it up like a hacky sack for entertainment. Magnolia and Griffin walked out of the line, each holding a card. From the way their shoulders slumped, I knew they hadn’t been paired.
It gave me more satisfaction than I cared to admit. I’d had enough of watching them snuggle every night like they were part of some whispery little secret society. Made me feel like an outsider in my own house.
I started paying attention, watching who paired up with who. The closer I got to Aunt Christy, the tighter my stomach ratcheted. Jane lucked out and got Blue. If he could turn her into a runner, they’d win it for sure. Blue ran elite class most years and came in first. Maddie got Uncle Holden. Dad and Sophie. James and Uncle Ashton.
Cash and Charlie.
Dang it!
I’d have taken either of them. Cash was a solid athlete. We’d played football together in high school. And Charlie thought she couldn’t run but I was banking that there was speed underneath her I’m-too-cool-for-sports attitude. The girl could outrun Cash when she needed to. I’d seen it plenty of times. Plus, she was my favorite cousin. I’d never say it out loud because someone would poison me in my sleep. But it was true. We would’ve had a blast training together.
“Boob cards?” I heard Belle shriek.
“There’s boob juice on my hand!” Tristan, Charlie’s little brother, screamed.
I huffed out a laugh even though I’d missed whatever set them off.
All the younger cousins freaked out, throwing cards in every direction, yelling about boobs and juice and how they weren’t doing the race anymore.
But then Uncle Holden roared and within seconds, all the cards had been picked up and peace had been restored.
Through it all, Maggie stood there, looking a little out of place, flicking her card against her perfectly toned thigh. If she’d stop fidgeting for two seconds, I could see what her card was. But alas, she was a jittery, nervous mess, in constant motion. Like a hummingbird who accidentally drank someone’s Red Bull.
I held out hope to the very end. As far as I could tell, Maggie was still unpartnered, but so were Theo, Blaze, Anna, and Aunt Christy.
Blaze took his card and moved from the line. There were three left. Anna swiped the one from the middle and stepped out of my way.
Aunt Christy sashayed toward me, fanning the last two cards like someone auditioning for a low-budget magic show. Her left eye bugged out between the spread, making me chuckle. “Pick wisely, child?” she intoned, all low and spooky. “For the card you choose shall determine your destiny, your companion, and possibly your blood pressure levels this summer.” Her eye blinked, slow and dramatic.
I chuckled again, stomach a fizzy, fluttery mess. I chewed my bottom lip, the entire family watching. And picked the card on the right.
I flipped it over. Six of hearts.
Christy whipped hers around. “Who has the four of diamonds?” she shouted, looking for her partner.
“That’s me!” Anna held her card in the air triumphantly. They squealed and jumped up and down like middle schoolers.
