Page 64 of No Way Home
I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. I was one wrong breath away from collapsing into tears.
“Just…get your crap together. I don’t know the last time I had a med student make a mistake this big.” He strode away muttering, “Hate to have to fail her.”
It felt like I’d been punched in the kidneys.
Hands shaking, I went the opposite direction, exiting through the staff entrance. I jogged down the sidewalk, grateful no one was in the parking lot, and let my head drop between my knees. I would give myself one minute to cry before pulling myself up by the bootstraps and made sure I didn’t make another mistake the entire time I was here.
But how can you fix a mistake you didn’t make?
Suddenly, a car door shut, and footsteps slapped against the blacktop. “Magnolia?” Bowen called, voice tight, jogging toward me.
I quickly wiped my nose on my sleeve and stood, turning away. “I’m fine,” I murmured, but the tremor in my voice betrayed me.
He got in front of me, hands gripping my shoulders, eyes probing as if he could pull the truth straight from my mind. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
I looked at the ground, letting my hair make a shield between us. “I’m okay. Today’s just…a lot.”
He pulled me into a bone-crushing hug, and a pocket of peace swelled in my chest.No. I could not let him be my comfort.
I stepped back, wiping my eyes. “I’m fine. Really.”
He looked a little hurt and like he didn’t know what to do with his hands. He jammed them into his pockets. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Is someone bothering you?” he asked, his tone suspicious. But that only made things worse. I could not handle him being his perceptive self, figuring out why my heart was breaking when the rest of the world was oblivious. Couldn’t handle him being my friend today and then changing his mind tomorrow. That was his specialty.
“Hey,” his voice dropped. “Was Billy a jerk to you? Topher?”
“I have to get back inside. Thank you for checking on me.”
His cheeks heated, so I gave him a brief smile before walking away.
I went to bed early that night, but I couldn’t sleep. A knot had formed in my stomach and, no matter what I did, it wouldn’t relax. That sign hadn’t been on the door. Iknewit hadn’t.
I got up early the next day, determined to make it a perfect nine-hour shift. But the same thing happened. There was no sign on a door where one should’ve been. And again two days after that. Thankfully those patients were much much understanding. Dr. Adams? Not so much.
I overheard him telling Markson I must’ve slept my way into med school. There was no other explanation if I wasn’t ‘smart enough to read a simple sign.’ Not sure how someone sleeps their way into med school, but it hurt to hear nonetheless.
The next Monday, Topher stood at the staff entrance, arms outstretched, blocking my way. He crooked a mischievous grin. “What’s the password?”
Password? What kind of childish nonsense was this?
“I can’t do this today.” My head hurt from crying so much last night. I needed the ibuprofen stowed in my locker. “I have to get inside and get going.”
“Just as soon as you tell me the password.” He clicked his tongue, eyes smoldering. “Here’s a hint: it’s the correct answer to the question, Will you have lunch with me today.”
Was he for real? He wouldn’t let me inside until I agreed to go out with him?
“Are you five?” I exhaled through my nose, temper at its boiling point, and it wasn’t even eight a.m. “Grow up. I said no.”
He had the nerve to smirk. “Wrong. Try again.”
I stared at him, chest heaving. “No. No.No. The answer is no now, and it’s going to be no tomorrow, the next day, and the day after that.” I threw my hands up. “It’ll be no until the day I’m done here.”
He licked his bottom lip, eyes scanning my face in a way that felt way too personal. “You know, if you don’t pass your rotation, you’ll be right back here for eight more weeks,” he said, flirty and deep, like that might be a good thing.
“There’s zero chance of that happening,” I said. “I’m going to ace this rotation.”
