Page 104 of No Way Home
“Bowen,” I murmured. “There’s nothing you can tell me right now that will make me think less of you.”
“Why?” He laughed bitterly, chest rumbling with a sob. “Because your opinion of me is already so low?”
“No.” I pulled his forehead to mine. “Because I’m finally getting to see all of you and it’s…rocking my world. In the best way.”
His breath breezed over my lips, and his heart punched so hard, I felt it in my ribcage. “I doubt you’ll feel that way after I tell you this story.”
My chest was so full of what I felt for him that I couldn’t hold back. “I already know that whatever you’re going to tell me will only make me fall harder.”
He leaned back just enough to look at me. His eyes were hooded and vulnerable, wanting to believe it.
I kneaded his earlobe between my fingers. “I don’t expect perfection. All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be real with me.”
“I know,” he admitted, so ashamed. “But…what if I’m the villain in the story?” Pain saturated every syllable.
“Do you think you’re the villain?” I asked.
“No. Not anymore. But you might.”
“I won’t,” I promised.
“J-just…” He buried his face in my hair. “I think I can do it, as long as you don’t stop hugging me and…you don’t make me look at you.”
My stomach hummed at our closeness, at his touch, his smell. But my heart hurt for him too much to enjoy it. I had a feeling it was about to hurt for Griffin, too. “It’s a deal,” I said.
“You make everything better,” he whispered. “You know that, right?”
I didn’t but I nodded anyway.
His arms tightened around me even more, like he thoughthe might never get the chance to hug me again once this was over. “No one knows this—not all of it—except for my family, Uncle Ford, and Aunt Peyton.”
“I won’t tell anyone.”
He pressed his nose into my cheek, his tears running ontome. “All right. Here goes…” He inhaled. “It was Christmas, my junior year of high school…”
As Bowen began his story, the sky opened up and rain poured down, like the heavens were weeping right along with him.
Chapter Thirty-Six
BOWEN
THE STORY OF SELENE
Ihadto leave the Dupree family Christmas party that was raging in Uncle Ford and Aunt Peyton’s living room. And by raging, I mean, everyone was on a sugar high from Gramps’s Shirley Temples, as an intense white elephant gift exchange ensued.
But I couldn’t stay.
Griffin’s college girlfriend, Selene, was giving me the willies. Maybe I was imagining it, but the chick had been here for forty-eight hours, and I swear, there wasn’t a single time I’d glanced her direction that she wasn’t unabashedly staring at me.
Maybe I was the problem. I wouldn’t know she was staring if I didn’t look at her in the first place. But it’s like those blackhead extraction videos—you know you’ll regret watching, but you physically cannot look away. Not that Griff’s girlfriend looked like a gnarly clogged pore. She didn’t. Most guys would probably find her attractive. Jet black hair and eyes to match, she was extremely proud of her creamy complexion, and…curves. The complexion she kept bringing up. The curves? You could just tell by how tight her shirts were. Almost a second skin, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination. It was so bad that my normally chill mother was struggling to keep her mouth closed.
If Selene hadn’t been with Griff, I still wouldn’t have been interested though. First of all, she was a brunette, and I’ve had a lifelong thing for blonds. And second, I liked girls who let you guess a little. Didn’t show it all to the entire world.
I could’ve gotten a drink in the kitchen, but it was still in Selene’s line of sight. So I opted for the pantry tucked behind the kitchen—bigger than my childhood bedroom.
I ran the water until it was cold, filled a glass, and guzzled it down. Then I filled it again, just needing a minute.
But when I turned around, I knew I wasn’t going to get one.
