Page 109 of The Taste of Light
"Is this about Julia? I shouldn't have omitted my past with your family. My feelings for her were platonic, and I—"
"No. She told me everything, and I felt betrayed at first, but I don't think it is fair to judge. You were a victim of the situation, just as I was."
"Then what? You don't love me anymore? Is that it? Do you hate me?"
"No!" Anne regretted her outburst and exhaled, trying to compose herself. "No," she whispered. "I was confused. My feelings changed. I only feel… I only feel indifference."
The lie tasted like ashes on her tongue, and she closed her eyes, hoping she had not hurt him too much. But how could she make him understand?
"Indifference?" He frowned, then his gaze traveled from her shoes to her brows.
Anne pleaded with her body not to betray her.
He advanced a step, then another, and breathed the same air as her. The wind fluttered strands of his hair close to her cheeks, and she willed them closer still so she could feel their texture one last time. His scent enveloped her in a warm blanket. She held her hands in front of her chest to avoid the temptation to revel in the heat he shed.
He caught her hand in his and caressed the heart-shaped mark on her palm, once, twice, painfully slow, until Anne's breath hitched. Warmth flooded her, every tiny part of her body celebrating his touch, wanting more of him.
"You lie." He released her, his lips compressed in an unforgiving line. "When you floated inside my ballroom, I assumed you were a feeble angel. But then you showed me a girl capable of leaping into the fire to save her memories. Who solved codes and defied the cruelest man in his own twisted game. I thought you the strongest person I ever met."
He pointed at her, his nostrils flaring. "I was wrong. You are afraid, a weak girl who—"
"Don't call me weak," Anne shouted, her heart twisting at his insult. "If you knew the effort I'm making to stay apart when every fiber of my being clamors for you!"
He grabbed her shoulders. His gaze was insistent and left her no shadows in which to hide. “Then why?”
Anne shook her head, tears pooling at the corners of her lips. “Don’t ask me to be your Inês, Pedro. I might accept it, and then we will both be miserable. If Inês had dared to leave Dom Pedro, she could have spared so much pain.”
Pedro hid his acute feelings under an aloof mask. “Do you believe Dom Pedro would have accepted her choice?”
Anne nodded and reached for his hand. “He would because he loved her, and love isn’t selfish. He wouldn’t want her to suffer.”
Pedro flinched at her touch. “You think Inês alone suffered? I saw their graves. The monastery drips with his pain, with his regret for not fighting for her. After they took Inês from him, Dom Pedro went mad. This is what you want for me?”
“No! I want you to be happy.” So much she couldn’t breathe.
He stepped closer, shielding her body from the wind and the sun.
Anne hardened her shoulders, her fingertips, her heart.
Please, don't touch me. I will crumble.
She gazed up at his chin and swayed, her body searching for solace only he could offer.
He caressed her cheek with the back of his finger. "You are not my Inês de Castro, Anne." His hair had fallen loose from the string, two golden curtains shading the side of his face.
"Pedro," she breathed, and her heart broke again.
"Unlike Dom Pedro, I will allow nothing between us. Not the king, and not your family, not shadows from the past, or this nonsense you created in your head to leave me. Not in this life and if there are others, not in any of them."
She shut her eyes. "The princess is your redemption. You have earned it. It is not my right to take it from you."
"Youare my redemption."
She shook her head. It couldn't be true. She couldn't let herself believe in his words, only to have her hopes shattered again. "But I doubt—"
"If it's doubt you want, then doubt my character. Doubt everything I ever told you, for I have lied, I have deceived, and I have manipulated to be with you. But never doubt my love."
Anne opened her eyes and was dazzled by the emotion in his eyes. Pedro kissed her palm and drew her to him. The distance between them took forever to cross, but when their chests met, Anne took a shuddering breath and dissolved into him. A sob racked her, and she buried her face in his neck. Her knees gave way, and she clung to him for support.
