Page 115 of Untempered
I felt Kaelson’s gaze on me like a cloud in the sky—but Audrey’s eyes were burning holes in my soul. I took a deep breath. It was the first thing she’d asked of me that showed any real trust. Ever.
A small part of me pointed out that she was being kind to me now she wanted me to do something for her. But it wasn’t thefairpart of me who remembered the apologies, the steps she’d taken and never asked for assistance with, the way she shouldered it all herself.
I’d had to offer to arrest the Captain for her. She’d been ready to do it herself.
“Do you need me?” I asked Kaelson, studying his careworn face and clever eyes.
He didn’t hesitate. “I believe we might. I also believe we’ll lose some. If you’re one that we lose, that’s a steeper cost than some of the lads, the Wife take me for saying it.”
That decided it. “The lady said we can’t lose any.” I bowed to Audrey, and she looked somewhat taken aback. “I’d best go and see her wishes done.”
“They’re leaving in a half-hour,” Kaelson told me. “My lady.” He bowed low, then walked out, leaving a heavy quiet in his wake.
“I’m sorry if I ask too much of you,” she said to her hands. “I should have asked you in private if you were comfortable. Next time?—”
“Just say ‘thanking you,’ Audrey,” I said, irritated. Did she think I was so precious I wouldn’t help defend supplies for the sick? “I would’ve said if I wasn’t comfortable. I can do that, you know.”
She folded herself back into the blankets. “Well…I’m grateful. Mayhap more for that than your assistance. I need to know what I can ask of you. I’m no good at guessing.”
I wanted to shake her. “There you go, we’re in perfect harmony.”
“A thing of beauty,” she agreed dryly. “We never miss a step.”
“Don’t go making promises I can’t keep,” I told her, amused despite myself. “Chances are they’ve already laid their ambush. I hope there are no archers. I’ve had enough of them.”
She didn’t laugh, which I should’ve expected. Isolde had nearly died that night.
She held the scrolls again but hadn’t unrolled them. She just sat there, looking worried and distracted. But she didn’t feel quite as far away as she had earlier. Or perhaps I just felt less powerless.
One of her blankets had slipped. I fought the urge to go right it.
She was trying to look after me, perhaps as awkwardly as Luca had attempted to look after her. And no less infuriatingly.
I tried to remember the last time I’d been coddled, and couldn’t. Perhaps that was why the concept wasn’t so repulsive when it came from her.
“Bar the door,” I told her. “I know you can look after yourself, but these are strange times.”
“I will,” she said, pulling the blankets higher. “Be safe, Chay.”
“Haven’t got myself killed yet,” I reminded her, then added, perhaps brashly, “I’ll be back before dark.”
As reward for my boldness, she sent me a smile. “You will.”
CHAPTERFORTY-FIVE
CHAY
“Don’t curse the darkness if you can light a candle instead.”
~ Raider’s Ban proverb
Ileft my cloak. The oiled one would protect against some of the rain but would interfere with movement, and I couldn’t afford that. I donned chainmail with my tabard over it. In the stables, Audrey’s horse stomped her foot as I passed her stall.
“Easy, girl,” I murmured, sparing a moment to pause at her stall door. Checking on the horses had become part of my routine, but she hadn’t forgiven me for cutting Audrey loose when she would’ve been dragged.
I didn’t mind the grudge. I was just glad she’d made it back somehow. “You rest up,” I told her, and her ears flicked back as if she didn’t like taking advice from me.You get that from your rider.As much as the thought made me smile, it wasn’t true. Audrey listened to me. But she didn’t trust me.
Bliksem was already saddled and waiting, his breath steaming in the slow, dreary drizzle that had settled over the city. I remembered how she’d wept for those children.
