Page 145 of Untempered
“Coming up,” he told me, and I made as much space as I could but had to settle back, practically in his lap.
That probably would’ve been awkward yesterday. Today, he just flicked his cloak over my right leg where I’d kilted up my skirts.
He didn’t kiss me. I sort of expected he might. I didn’t know if I wanted it or not. I knew I definitely didn’t want to endlessly loop on the topic of the monolith, and I certainly didn’t want corpses on my mind. Not the one near us, and definitely not what I might find back at the keep. As we started to move, he murmured encouragement to the horses still. Out of the lee of the beekeeper’s home, the wind was bitter and biting. Almost immediately, I ached all the way to my soul.
I huddled back into him, and his arms tightened a little more. One-handed, he adjusted my cloak so my gloved hands were safe beneath it. My heart hurt.
Nothing I’d done for this poor man was good.
I didn’t want to think about any of it. So I grabbed onto the first thing I could. “You never asked if I was a virgin,” I said.
I couldn’t see his expression, but he didn’t tense up at all. “None of my business, is it?” he asked me. “You knew what you wanted, and so did I.”
It was that simple for him. “Do you still want it?” I realized I’d just referred to intimacy with myself asit,but didn’t know how to fix my poor wording. Ideas charged through my mind.
“I’d like a bath,” he said before I could explain what I meant. “I’m not handling the dead then putting those hands on you, Embers.” I wanted to rest my head against his, but Bliksem’s gait made that a dangerous idea. My eyes burned. “I don’t know what the future holds,” he said quietly. “I had a lot of fun, but you need rest and sleep, and somewhere warm.”
I did. “You’re warm.”
Finally, he turned his lips into my hair. “So are you, once I’ve had a few moments with you,” he said, the words a little lower. “If my hands were cleaner and the situation happier, I could warm you up right now.”
The thought was so far removed from reality that I had no problem enjoying the fantasy. He probably could, too, the way he’d brought me to my peak with just the pressure of his palm yesterday.
We’d have to get back on a horse eventually. If this didn’t work…
“I’m looking forward to it,” I told him, and let him shelter me in his arms.
CHAPTERFIFTY-SEVEN
CHAY
“Forgiveness is not earned, it is gifted.” ~ Matri’sion proverb
Whether it was because I was sick or because my lady had warmed more than just my cock last night, it was harder to dismiss reality and drift in a fantasy. The trip back to the monolith felt like it took all day, but the sun was barely high enough to burn the frost off the ground.
I should’ve offered to come alone. I should’ve, but I hadn’t wanted to be away from her. Not when she was so vulnerable.
As soon as we arrived, my first task was to remove the poor beekeeper from Audrey’s horse. Without prompting, she spent time soothing her unsettled mount.
It gave me the opportunity to arrange some of the branches I’d hauled nearby in a haphazard pyre. The task wasn’t one I’d ever done alone. I didn’t know how much wood I’d need nor how much tinder to prepare. But I knew I didn’t have time to worry about it.
If she was right, it’d have to work fast otherwise it wouldn’t have stopped that wave she was so sure had really struck the land.
All I was sure of was that she wouldn’t return to somewhere warm until this was done.
She appeared at my side, arms loaded with smaller pieces of kindling that she began to arrange beside me.
“Should’ve brought some dry wood,” I said, just to have something to say.
“You can go get some?” she offered me. “I can continue here. You could empty Storm’s bags, and?—”
A chill went through me. “No.” I shook my head. “Sorry to cut you off.” But I wasn’t entertaining the idea of separating from her. There was no way she was leaving my sight. The gold in her eyes had shrunk to a small ring of color around her pupils. Already her skin had a gray cast. “I think this’ll about do. If it works, we can build it higher.”
She accepted that with a nod, looking at the monolith to one side of the pyre. “Do you think he’s close enough to it?”
The poor man’s hip was bumped up against the rock. “I believe so.”
“If this doesn’t work, we could bring back some others,” she said, fumbling the tinder with her gloves on.
