Page 8 of Untempered
~ Barloc’s Wisdom, compiled by F. Bergsoniir
The internal numbness was familiar. I scrubbed quickly in the cold water, my movements rough with urgency. Isolde didn’t say anything. She didn’t need to. We both knew the entire situation could’ve been avoided.
They were tourney competitors. I was going to be sharing feasts and dances with them.
Relying on the disguise had never been my plan. It was an added layer of protection, just like a quick dash across the stream to throw them off the scent.
Now, everything hinged on it.
I didn’t ask her for reassurances. If any one of those men recognized us, we were in trouble. I had no lies handy. There was no way I could say, “No I didn’t lose control of Vixen.” She’d been white-eyed and lathered with panic when we’d brought her home. It’d taken me an eon to get the poor mare through the city. The stableboys hadremarkedon it. That my usual horse and old friend, Storm, had bit someone so hard he’d swore he’d never work with horses again…didn’t help.
The guilt would be there, under the numbness.
“What dress are you wearing?” Isolde called.
My head swam. “I don’t know.” Those dresses and I mutually disliked each other. “The lilac.” It was simpler than the others. It’d be fast to get into.
“For the first banquet?” she asked. “Your father will want the pink or the puce.”
There was a scream in my throat. I dropped the brush and stood. I’d do. If there were any spots of dust, Isolde would sort me out. “Pink.” Mayhap I’d get lucky, be struck by some sort of brief, socially acceptable illness, and not have to wear the puce.
A knock at the door made me cringe.Luca. I didn’t have enough energy to deal with his exuberant positivity.
I pushed water off my body and scrambled for a comb, wishing I could just tap out of the entire affair. I knew Isolde was seriously considering hunting down the people we’d run into, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they all had an arrow in their throat by morning. Especially that lump of a knight who’d grabbed me. The memory of having him between my thighs had yet to leave me.
Mayhap I’d help her.
The door opened and she entered, dress draped over her arm. I knew, from what she’d taught me, that the cloth could double as a protective shield in that position.
Somehowshesmelled like a daisy.Andshe’d avoided getting her hair wet.
Viciously, I ripped the comb through mine.
She arched a brow. “Want a knife for that knot?”
“It’d be faster.”
“He’ll wait,” she said, taking the comb firmly from my hand. I didn’t know if she meant Luca, still at my door, or my father at the banquet. “You need to breathe.”
I didn’t tell her Iwasbreathing, but it was a near thing. “I need to get through tonight,” I corrected.
She yanked on the knot. “You’ll get through tonight easier if you aren’t flooded by battle energy,” she said briskly. “We both know it.” She stopped, then, and said, “I’m grounding you.”
I closed my eyes, bit back the snarl of impatience, and stood still as she settled her hands on my shoulders.
The pressure was heavy. I felt it down my back, into my hips, through my knees, into my heels, and out through my toes. I breathed into it obediently, with slow, deep out-breaths. Beneath my feet, the rug was thick but cool. The blisters I’d earned from walking home burned.
Terror swirled, dark and thick, no longer held back by the rush of energy that danger brought. I missed the strength of the battle energy, not for the first time.
Why was I still here?
“Breathe,” Isolde said, the word totally calm. “We’re okay.”
I did, drawing air deep and making her hands lift, then blowing it out slowly past lips that needed balm after my time in the wind. “I want to talk to you about leaving,” I said quietly.
Her fingers tightened fractionally, then released. “As you will.” She removed her hands, that tiny flex the only sign I’d spoken the words she’d wanted from me since I was eleven. “Later. When your betrothed isn’t listening at keyholes.”
Luca wasn’t the type to listen at keyholes. He’d have his nose in one of my books or be setting up a game of chess. But I nodded all the same. There was no way we could plan our flight now. I was supposed to be in the banquet hall a half-hour ago.
