Page 41 of Unrivaled
“Why is Luca sending you messages?”I asked him.
“You aren’t the only one with a long history with him.”Chay’s words had an edge of blame I couldn’t recall ever hearing from him.Not like this.
I withdrew, sliding from his lap.“We’ll deal with the Steward if he returns.”Options spun through my mind, but at the fore I was struggling to identify why he sounded so…unkind.“Have I done something wrong?”The question sounded awkward to my ears.
“No.No, you’ve done nothing wrong.”But his eyes went to the scroll in my hand.
Luca.
I returned to the conversation we’d had beside the stream a few days ago, about the pirate Captain.Anyone but Luca.It had been a small part of the larger conversation.I hadn’t thought much of it at the time.
“I didn’t ask Luca to keep an eye on the Head Steward,” I told Chay.It was certainly useful he’d done so, but I kept that to myself.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said, standing.But it did.He didn’t believe me.He didn’t trust me.“You can do—Audrey.”He shook his head and I stood, my hands folded, my heart skittering in my chest.“We can’t do this.”
I nodded as my heart leapt against my chest.He thought I was asking Luca for aid, and he was right; wecouldn’tbe doing that.Luca’s aid came with strings.
Chay’s words had a ring of finality and more force than I’d heard from him.The words didn’t make sense yet, but I’d figure it out later.A horrible, slow sucking sensation had started in the bottom of my guts.I walked to where the tisane was positioned.
“I’ll support you in your decisions, of course,” I agreed, the words coming unbidden.The stream of tisane I poured was stable.The delicately painted pattern on the bottom of the cup jumped out at me, the curls of the flower, the faded edges around the rim where it’d been cleaned by rough hands.He said nothing.From far away watched as he stood before his chair.No,loomed.
There was a part of me that knew I was responding not to him, but to another man.It was a quiet, small part that held truths for later.
“I’m sorry this is so difficult for you,” I said.The words bounced around the room, warm and honest with just the right amount of worry.“I have to apologize, Chay, as well, as I’m not following.Please, if you’ve a moment, could you explain?”I set the tisane before him and sat in the chair opposite with a flick of skirts, perching lightly on the edge.
“There’s nothing to explain,” he said, but it wasn’t in his voice, and it wasn’t his words I heard, either.How is it you still don’t understand?His hand slashed the air between us.Nothing.That’s what that movement shouted.Nothing you can do.You’ve already done too much.
My eyes stayed on the table between us.His hands weren’t fisted by his side… but the muscles in his forearms were corded, and his fingers were ridged.
“Don’t just sit there, Audrey,” he said, fury in the words.His finger pointed toward me.Inaccurately.A little like his bowmanship.He was getting better at archery, though it was very slow progress.“Don’t—don’t dothat.”
He didn’t want me sitting, but… he also didn’t want to explain, so what could I do?Options flickered through my mind without any individual thought playing all the way through.The scroll from Luca had ended up on that table, somehow.I moved my gaze to the side, not wanting to think I was staring at it.
“My apologies,” I offered again.“But if there’s something you’d like from me…”
“Get up.”His hand on my arm was harsh.I was hauled to my feet.“Don’t fuckingcollapseon me, Embers.”He swallowed audibly, holding me too hard as I scrambled to get my balance back.“We can’t do this.We can’t be together.”
I got my feet.I stood.
His hand dropped me like I was burning him and the sudden release made me stagger.“You can’t come into my room or climb into my lap or—anything.”
The pulse at his throat was pounding.I watched it leap there, thejump, jump, jumpof the blood in his veins.
“As you will,” I agreed, my lips moving independent of my mind.
“Don’t justas you willme,” he said, the words low and dark.“You need to be stronger than that, Embers.”
I couldn’t breathe.That would be a problem, soon.I watched from far away as I lifted my eyes to his.I noted the signs of anger, the drawn in brows, the tight jaw, the way he’d seemed to swell beneath his shirt.
I softened.“I am,” I promised.“But I swore to you I’d ask nothing from you, once.”
His fist clenched.The knot in his throat bobbed.The fire popped.
“I’d like you to tell me what happened,” I offered, softly.“So I may respect your wishes as best I can, and as sensitively as possible.”The words were just right.Like a soft, cool breeze in the middle of a summer’s night.But my shoulders were too hunched.I straightened a little.I met his eyes.That’s what he’d wanted, wasn’t it?
I knew it was the right response.His hand relaxed, just fractionally.His chin dropped a hair’s breadth.His blue eyes kept on blazing at me.There was still warmth, there.Mayhap now it was scorching, but he was still here with me.
“Whatever it is, you know I’ll resist.”My words were still soft, still gentle.“You’ve seen what I can do.You’ve put your trust in me.Have I ever been a coward?”
