Page 155 of Unrivaled
“If you’re staying up for her, I’ll leave the door locked and retire.At least you may rest while you wait that way.”He looked directly at Luca, clearly waiting for the man to say he, too, would leave.
“Excellent.Rest well, friend,” Luca said, setting down a lighted candle.“Yes, Count Mikheil.He had on a burgundy brocade doublet.It matched his complexion.”
I didn’t laugh at the joke on the poor man’s face.Hehadcome up to me early in the evening, before the feast had begun, and waved a card in my face.Chay left us, closing the door quietly after himself.“He thought he was being threatened,” I told Luca, easing myself into a seat and feeling the stitches on the dress strain with the posture.Thatwas why my feet ached.“Was that your doing?”
“Me?No.The perfumery sellers heard the comments, same as I.”He waved it away, as if he hadn’t gone and dropped not one but two small fortunes at said perfume stand during the faire, the first time in that misguided attempt to buy me the most expensive scent and the second time to buy me acustom made, uniquescent…that I actually liked.
So far, I’d got a lovely massage out of it and some good company.
Except then the craftspeople had sent some oils to those who’d laughed at me buying the funerary oil as bath oil.They’d added a little note with it, saying something to the effect ofUse this in your bath, and if you lose someone dear, you can use it on them, tooandof coursepeople would read that as a threat.We were inLa’Angi.My father had been killing people, openly or not, since he’d taken the duchy.
“It was a poor choice of words,” Luca agreed, wincing.“When they told me…well, I do think they might have had some fun at the expense of a few stuck-up nobles.”
“Is that it?”I asked, taking the cold tisane he passed me.I wished it was more wine.He’s a rebel.I wondered if it could be true for a moment.If he was…mayhap that would be a good thing.“Just a merchant having fun with some annoying patrons?”
“I suspect so,” Luca assured me.The twinge of disappointment I felt surprised me.It would have been nice if mayhap hewasa little rebellious.“From what I can gather, we’re quite an irritating lot.”He grinned, settling down on the other side of the couch.“Can’t really blame them, though it wasn’t a great look for either of us.”
I took a deep breath and held it, feeling the panic I hadn’t allowed myself to sit with at the time.I’d managed the situation.I always managed situations.
Until you can’t.The smell of blood filled my nose and a tremor rolled through me.
Luca’s hand steadied the tisane that threatened to slip from my suddenly damp palm.You’re a survivor.The statement of fact echoed through my mind, spoken in Isolde’s no-nonsense tones.Between that, and Luca’s hand…there was something wrenchingly safe about that hand.Mayhap it was the grey lines ink had left in the tiny folds and cracks in his fingers, or the softness of the skin.This scholar could never be a rebel.
Isolde wouldn’t find anything.
He was illuminated by the soft candlelight, seated with a sort of artless grace beside me.I imagined I’d met him today.Wouldn’t that be exciting, to meet a charming, handsome rebel who looked at me with hunger and respect both?The fantasy was better than reality.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
The apology startled me.The depth of regret in the poorly lit grey of his eyes, doubly so.What have you done now, Luca?The question didn’t make it past my lips, but the fear drove back the anxiety from earlier in the night.Calm settled over me, familiar as an old blanket, and thin as one, too.“Why?”
“Because I never really saw you before.”His hold on the cup gentled.I was stable now.“And…I suppose I wasn’t really here for you, either.Not the way I wish I was.Not the way I want to be.I’m sorry for that, Audrey.”
Outside of my tower the city was starting to settle.Pockets of revelry persisted, music and the occasional round of raucous laughter or shouts of glee coming from out in the darkness.Here it was warm and dark and quiet.My dress crushed and squeezed.My hand wasn’t tacky, but dry.My feet hurt and my head ached.
“I like you more when you aren’t trying to coddle me,” I admitted, surprised at how comfortable I felt, and how present.“I’ve never had a big brother.I didn’t really want you playing the part.”
He was quiet for a moment.The line of his mouth was perfectly neutral, but his eyes weren’t.Anticipation unfurled inside me as he gazed at me.I expected him to tell me how he felt nothing brotherly toward me.But he let it go unspoken.We’d both been there when he’d put that belt on my hips.We’d both felt that attraction.
“Would you forgive me if I admitted I do still want to coddle you?”he asked, propping his elbow up on the back of the couch’s low back and resting his head against it, as if this was a deep consideration and he was a simple man.“When we’re alone, and your shoulders hang a little lower, and your mouth isn’t always trying to smile?”
The words felt as intimate as a caress.The fire crackled behind him, casting his familiar face into stark light and deep shadows.I wanted to ask him to explain what he meant, to draw out the sweetness a little longer, to keep us both lingering in the tension.Instead, I said, with too much honesty, “Luca, I’ve forgiven you so many things, what’s one more?”
I’d hurt him.It was in the crease of his brows and the indrawn breath he cut off before it was complete.“I’m trying to make them right.”
He was.He really was.
It was a novel experience that I decided I’d like to explore.
“I don’t know if I’m doing well, though,” he said, with regret.“I feel like I ought to be uncomfortable.So far, Audrey…”
I sipped my tea, my mind skimming ahead.Isoldecouldreturn at any time, but more likely she listening to servants who’d be loose-lipped with their master gone and alcohol in their cups.It wouldn’t be the first she hadn’t come home.Could be I’d eventually hear about the pile of bodies that had kept her busy, though I doubted tonight that would be the case.
“It’s been nothing but joy,” he finished.
The words settled between us.As they started to dissipate my mind began to turn again.
“I want to make you happy,” he murmured.“Would you permit that?”
