Page 33 of Unrivaled
The idea was so foreign that I had to stand balanced on the rock in the middle of the stream to let it soak in before I could keep moving.He wanted me to take the Captain to bed.With him.The thought made my head spin, and I struggled against that foolish rush of anticipation.
“That sounds…” I tried to imagine relationships with multiple people.“Complicated.”I dipped the mouth of the flask into the stream, filling it absently while all the possibilities of that sort of culture spun through my mind How was inheritance decided?Did they make their beds larger?What if one person didn’t like another person, but did like a third part of the group?
“It can be,” he agreed.“We’d need to talk it over.I just thought I ought to mention it sooner rather than later.Since the Captainisattractive and definitely intrigued by you.”
Embarrassment coiled in my veins, along with a strange sense of camaraderie I didn’t expect to feel.“You’d be happy for that?”
“So long as we’re all safe and happy, I’m happy.”He held out his hands in catching position, so I tossed him Isolde’s flask.“Out here, love is treated like a pie.You’ve all got one, and slices are given out sparingly.”The image made me feel a little sad, and the matter-of-fact way he said it drove the truth home.“Where I’m from, love is like the horizon.It has no end.You can travel forever, with as many people as you wish, for as long as you’d like.You’ll never see the end of it.And mayhap sometimes it’ll be dark, and you can’t see it, but you know it’s always there.”
The water ran over my fingers.I realized my flask was full.I lifted it, feeling full, too.Mayhap that was what I’d fel, with Chay.I wasn’t fighting for any pie.
He offered me a hand and I took it, stepping back to dry land.He pressed a kiss to my lips, his smile a bit sad.“Don’t look so pensive, Embers.If you want to ride just you and I, I won’t feel any lack.”
The air grew heavy in my lungs.He was offering me his love.
Forever.
Endless.
Anxiety gnawed deep in my belly.One day, he’d turn around and look at me.He’d realize what an error of judgement he’d made, getting himself tangled up in my life.He’d realize he’d never be free of me, and the complication of our relationship would only make his life so much harder.
“Whatever you decide,” he said, his thumb brushing against my jaw in an absent caress, looking a little more serious, “I should mention…I’d struggle with Luca.Anyone else is fine.And if he’s important, to you…if that’s a deal breaker…I’d give you everything I could anyway.”
You don’t have to offer me anything.But I didn’t say it.The words would only hurt him.He was waiting for something, though.He needed a response.
All I could offer, with my heart in my throat and terror in my guts, was, “I suppose we’ll see what the journey holds.”
CHAPTERTWELVE
CHAY
It’s better to make a mistake than to make nothing.
—Raider’s Ban proverb
17thDay of Winter’s Wife Moon,
Age of the Locways, Year 271
La’Angi Keep
The pleasant smile on Kaelson’s face made me recall the sound of the cavalry horn.Charge.My hands itched for Bliksem’s reins and I could feel the reverberations of the lance up my arm.I tried to smile back, but it probably looked more like a grimace.
“Here now, friend,” Kaelson said, his hand closing over my shoulder in a grip that was fractionally too firm to be friendly.“Let’s have us a drink.”
I’d expected something sooner, after he and Thomas had seen me holding Audrey.Whether or not her skirts had still been where they ought to be didn’t matter.There’d be no saying we weren’t close, not after they’d seen me holding her so tightly while she sheltered against me.
And Thomas knew.That shouldn’t matter.He was incapable of doing her harm.
Just like me.
Kaelson steered me into the mirrored version of my bunkroom in the defensive entryway to Audrey’s tower.Thomas dropped the bar over the door behind us.They’d got an oil lamp and wiped the dust off the table.I spotted jugs to the side, and dice that were probably honest, if I knew Thomas.
I let Kaelson steer me into a seat.I’d been in the sunshine all day and even got to stop off at the bathhouse on the way back.They’d caught me in a good mood.So,I waited while they closed this door too,so we were all snug and warm.I waited some more while they poured the tart liquor and settled into seats at the table, acting like this was all nice and fun and friendly.
They weren’t going to make it easy, but that was fine.She was curled up, working on her cider problem.I wondered how she’d feel about us enjoying the supply.
I could almost hear her voice in my head.There’s an allowance for our use, of course.I already calculated it.She hadn’t calculated that I wouldn’t be reining her in, though.I’d liked the way she’d looked up at me when we discussed whether it’d just be she and I, or others, too.
