Page 39 of Tinder Embrace
"I'll see you on Tuesday night?" I asked instead.
She nodded, appearing relieved that I'd changed the subject. "Yes. I brought back a growler from my conference that I thought we could all try."
I tried not to let my nose wrinkle. Beer and I weren't friends.
"Goody," I said, injecting as much enthusiasm as I could muster into the word.
"I'll see you then."
Jo headed for checkout, and I continued to wander the store, absently adding pasta and the ingredients for my lunches to my cart.
Davis could be pretty closed-off, but until Jo suggested it, I hadn't considered that he carried some big secret. Was there really something about his relationship track record that would scare me off? Was that possible?
Davis was still Davis. And I was far from perfect. I'd dated plenty back in Spokane. While the pool of available single men had dried up considerably when I moved to Campfire, I'd still been out a few times. Some duds, a few that had potential but fizzled. Nothing very exciting. Nothing noteworthy.
***
I jumped out of bed Saturday, eager to get my weekend chores handled so I could enjoy my afternoon with Davis. He'd suggested picking me up at two for the drive to Spokane. I needed to drop my burner off at the repair shop near the Spokane airport before they closed. I would feel like a weenie if I asked Davis to take the back roads and avoid I-90, but the less time I spent white-knuckling it on the freeway, the better.
I ate a quick lunch after finishing my laundry and cleaning, then settled on the couch to grade papers while I waited for Davis.
My phone buzzed, and I reached for it eagerly, hoping it was Davis letting me know he was leaving the farm to come get me.
Davis: I need to cancel. Sorry.
Disappointment washed through me, followed swiftly by worry.
Sophie: Is everything ok?
Davis: Compressor failure on our glycol chiller.
That meant nothing to me, but I still felt bad for Davis and Jo.
Sophie: Sosorry. We can reschedule, no worries.
Davis: Let's cancel.
My breath caught at his dismissal, but I tried again. He was probably stressed. Whatever a chiller was, I bet it was expensive.
Sophie: Why don't I bring dinner to you if you're busy?
Davis: No time.
I bit my lip. I'd promised myself I wouldn't beg. If he wasn't invested, then I'd move on.
Listlessly, I stared at my phone, rereading his rejection. I let myself feel bad for five minutes, then pushed my shoulders back.
Bee-gonia had to fly again, which meant I needed to get on the road if I wanted to drop off the burner and make it back before dark. At least I wouldn't have to explain my reluctance to take the freeway to Davis.
I hopped in the car, determined to take care of Bee-gonia myself.
Part of me wanted to believe that Davis was still interested, regardless of our canceled date. But didn't I deserve someone who was into me enough to at least reschedule? His text had been abrupt to the point of rude.
Had he grown tired of me before we even started? I could accept that not everyone liked me. I tried to be cheerful, and that rubbed some people the wrong way. Ditto my attempts to get others to talk.
I'd felt terrible when an ex had pointed out that I wanted to talk with everyone but him on our dates. Not true, but also a good indicator why we weren't a good match. Even though Davis seemed gruff, I'd thought he found my prattling more charming than annoying. It was awful, the thought that I could be wrong.
Maybe it was time to embrace the single life as my lot. But I couldn't even pretend to want that. Not really. I missed touch. Friendly hugs were one thing, but I yearned for the closeness that came from intimacy with a partner.
