Page 47 of Tinder Embrace
"I'm sorry," I said roughly, extending a mug to her.
Our fingers brushed, and my world stood still. At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to be forgiven. To take her in my arms. But Sophie's closed-off expression made me doubt that was in the cards. Thechange in her only emphasized how much I’d fucked up. Losing my bubbly, effusive Sophie was a blow. One I deserved.
"Is it okay for me to let Frick and Frack out for a visit?"
"Sure."
Was it my imagination, or was Sophie's voice rusty? I opened the cat carrier, lifting the kitten siblings out one at a time and offering them to Sophie. She cuddled them in her arms, one in the crook of each elbow, as they purred their approval.
Jo deserved a big fucking thank you. Sophie's expression had softened as she accepted each furry bundle. What I lacked in verbal skills, maybe I could make up for with sweet distractions. I sighed, fighting the impulse to do the easy thing.
Sophie deserved more.
She deserved the words.
"I'm sorry for bailing on our date yesterday. That was really rude."
"That's okay, Davis. Some things aren't meant to be," she said lightly. "I won't let it hurt our friendship."
I barreled ahead, pretending she hadn't used the "f" word. "Will you give me another chance to take you out?"
She squinted, her expression somber. "I don't know, Davis. Yesterday you sounded more content to just cancel. I don't want a man who thinks of me as a chore."
"You deserve a man who thinks of you as a treasure, but I can’t hide that I've got a lot on my plate. I have responsibilities."
"And I don't?"
"No. That's not what I meant at all." I dropped my head into my hands. "Dammit, I should have brought more kittens," I muttered into my palms.
"More kittens wouldn't fix this, Davis."
I straightened, capturing Sophie's gaze with mine. "Are you sure? It seemed like a pretty solid play there for a minute."
Sophie's lips twisted, and hope filled my heart. I racked my brain for the right words, the ones that would make her accept my apology. Believe my sincerity.
"I've said this all wrong. Let me try again," I pleaded.
"Davis, this isn't a test. There’s no right answer."
"Any answer other than you forgiving me, agreeing to go out with me, is a failing grade in my book. What I meant to say was that I can't stop thinking about you. Yesterday would have been a thousand times better if I knew I had seeing you to look forward to. I screwed up, and I'm sorry. I'd love it if we could try again. I won't let work get in the way this time."
"It's not that you had to cancel for a work emergency that bothers me."
"No, but I worry that at some point it will."
"Why?" she asked. “We both have careers. Things are going to come up.”
"Because it has in my past," I muttered. Maybe she already knew about my brief marriage to Melody. It seemed foolish to reveal my biggestfailure when I was trying to convince her to take a chance on me, but Sophie deserved the truth.
"I was married once. It didn't work out. Colville was too small, and I was too busy with work to spend much time with her. She was bored, and I shouldn't have blamed her for feeling lonely in our marriage. I thought she had more than enough between work and what little time I was able to spare. She disagreed. At the end of the day, she wanted more than me."
I shrugged. "She left. She’s remarried now, to a nice man who lives in Spokane. They have like three kids, and she seems perfectly happy. Clearly, it wasn’t her that was the problem."
Sophie eased the kittens into her lap. They curled together, yin to each other's yang, and I chose to read it as an omen.
"I don't know how to reassure you that I won't resent your work," she said, her tone soft.
"And I don't know that I can guarantee I won't get grumpy and bail when I get stressed, but I’ll try," I admitted.
