Page 49 of A Broody Mate for the Human
Matthew looks sickly pale. His cheeks are hollow, and his eyes are just empty. “I…” he pauses. “I have no words to tell you how sorry I am,” he whispers. “I can’t believe I even assaulted you.”
“You were triggered,” I say quietly.
“It should have never come that far though,” he mutters, and for the first time since I’ve known him, he finally stops making excuses. “There is no excuse for what I did and for how I treated you. I… normally I am not like that. I know you won’t believe me… because why should you? But I swear I am…” He pauses. “I showed you the worst. I don’t even know why I did the things I did… like breaking your phone and… everything. Alpha Jace says it’s partly because I fought the mate bond, and it made me snap in a possessive way whenever I was with you, and because I never dealt with my past.”
“Annie told me,” I admit. “What happened to you… with your father.” It doesn’t make his actions against me right, but at least I understand him better now. I look at him. “You’re not sick,” I whisper, flinching slightly when he moves. The last time I said something similar, he attacked me.
This time, however, it doesn’t trigger him to lose control.
“When I turned fifteen, I knew… I knew that I liked guys,” he says absent-mindedly. “During a bonfire at the pack, another boy and I kissed, and my father saw it. Later that night, he punched me so hard and for so long I had a broken jaw and a concussion. He told the pack doctor I got into a fistfight with a bunch of drunk teens.”
“And everyone always believed him,” I add quietly. Matthew’s father was so high up in the ranks that no one ever questioned it.
“Dave,” he says quietly. “I’ll be going to therapy. The alpha was kind to me after he heard everything. He told me I can stay in the pack and continue my training, but I need to go to therapy. I can’t take the gamma position anymore, but it doesn’t matter to me. I… I can be a warrior, and this time I want to protect those who need protection.”
“That’s good,” I say and mean it. “Therapy will help you. It will be so good for you to deal with your past.”
“It’s going to be a long path,” he mutters.
“Probably,” I say awkwardly. If this would be how he was when we met, we could have worked on it together. But as it is now, too much broke for me.
“We are over, aren’t we?” he asks quietly.
Something in my chest tightens. Fuck, why is that so difficult!? It should be easy. I had it all set in my mind, but now, eye to eye with him, my heart feels so heavy. Yet I can’t lie to him. I nod. “Yes. I… I’m sorry, I really am. It’s just, I can’t recover from what happened between us,” I explain sadly. “I wish I could, but I can’t.” Despite his reasons, Matthew has broken a part of me, and I wasn’t aware of how much it hurt until that night he attacked me and my friends saved me. The feeling of freedom was something I thought I’d never feel again. I believe Matthew is on the path of healing and bettering himself, but I can’t do it with him. The feeling of fear and helplessness are still there when I see him.
“I’m so sorry I betrayed you. I cheated on the mate bond. Maybe you don’t know the severity of what I did, but I do,” Matthew mutters tiredly. “I stopped it all now. I’m not going out anymore to numb everything with alcohol and women. I just wish I would have been stronger when I met you… strong enough to claim you as my mate and try to be good to you.”
I take a shaky breath. “I forgive you, Matthew. I might not be able to remain your mate, but I do forgive you. Part of me still likes you, and I wish you a good recovery and that you will bring forward the best version of yourself. For your second chance mate, I want you to give it your all.”
“I won’t have a second chance,” he mutters. “The way I ruined my first chance, I doubt—”
“You will,” I say with conviction. “If you prove yourself worthy of receiving one.” I reach out my hand to take his big hand into mine, squeezing it. “You’ll learn from this,” I say earnestly. “And promise me the moment you receive a second chance, you’ll be a good mate. No cheating, no controlling of every step he takes, no talking down on what he and you are, no judging his friends, no attacking him.”
He nods. “I promise.” He looks at me and then after a pause. “You can say it.”
I swallow down the lump I feel in my throat. “I, David Ford, reject you, Matthew Shaw, as my mate.”
Matthew clenches his chest, gasping in pain. I can see sweat forming on his forehead and his body trembling. My own chest aches slightly, too, but it’s probably nothing compared to what he goes through. It makes me wonder how unbearable the pain of his cheating would have been had I been a fellow wolf. He takes a few shaky breaths. “I, Matthew Shaw, accept your rejection,” he finally rasps out.
For a few minutes, we just sit together in silence before we pay and get up to leave. Neither of us has even touched our coffee. At the door of the coffee shop, we say our goodbyes.
Matthew looks sad and pale. “Good luck, David. I hope you find your second mate too.”
“Matthew,” I say before he can leave. “Remember your promise.”
Matthew nods. “I will.”
I watch him leave, noticing how he gets into the car an older guy is driving. Maybe that’s his uncle or his mentor. I know he isn’t staying with his father anymore. By the way the man greets him, they seem to be friendly. At least he has someone to look after him now.
“Dave…” Ella approaches me silently.
“It’s okay,” I mutter.
“No, it’s not,” she says.
I look down at my feet. Fuck, this was more difficult than I thought it would be. I didn’t expect Matthew to have his guard down and be so vulnerable. I sigh shakily. This was for the best, for both of us, but it doesn’t mean it was easy to do. It doesn’t mean I feel happy now.
“I, I want to be alone,” I tell her.
