Page 39 of A Broody Mate for the Human
I’m not sure if Matthew even read the message I sent him. He can’t reply to it, as I made sure to send it with a suppressed phone number… I’m not sure what I’ll do if he doesn’t come, but I’m so close to telling Annie to take me to see him in person, to take me to his pack. I’m sure as his mate, they won’t just send me away.
Part of me might actually hope that Matthew doesn’t come… the same part of me just wants to run away and hide somewhere like a little child and hope it will just pass by. If I hide from reality, maybe it won’t have to happen.
But I know better.
It’s not like I was head over heels for Matthew, and I’m trying to tell myself to be rational. I’ve known Matthew for what… two weeks, maybe a bit more… andknowingis a stretch. I try to tell myself I shouldn’t feel hurt or sad because it’s not like we were a thing.
But the truth is the mate bond affects me, too, more than I like to admit.
And fuck… he could have let me down gently instead of toying with me and my feelings.
I try to distract myself by researching for my thesis—it’s not going to magically write itself after all—while munching on cheap chocolate chip cookies. I like to dip them into hot coffee to make them extra soggy. My distraction strategy works because eventually I’m so engrossed in my work that I’m surprised when the doorbell rings.
Peeking through the little camera and observing the staircase, I’m shocked to see Matthew there. I wordlessly open the door for him.
“You’re so dramatic,” he grumbles when he steps into my apartment. It’s not particularly big, but it’s cozy, and the rooms are well-split. It’s enough for me; I don’t need a bigger apartment.
I collect my thoughts and decide to stay as composed as possible. Ignoring Matthew’s comment, I instead walk into the kitchen. “Do you want something to drink?” I ask.
He seems to be insecure by my calm approach. “Yes…” he mutters.
“Coffee?”
He nods, dumbfounded.
I take my time in the kitchen, mainly to calm my nerves and gather my strength. Seeing him now and having him so close is doing things to my mind I didn’t expect. I wonder how much he has to hate me for him to fight the bond like that. He has to feel it so much stronger than I do. He sleeps with others behind my back, makes sure to see me as little as possible, and yet here he is… I assume the bond pushes him into my proximity, although he doesn’t want me.
When I return with his coffee, I notice that Matthew has sat down on my sofa, looking almost nervous. I place the coffee in front of him before making sure to sit down at the other side of the table on a small ottoman. There is silence between us before I look at him.
“You’ve deleted the message from a friend who invited me to a dance performance, didn’t you?” I ask.
Matthew stares at me. At least he doesn’t deny it; he just keeps silent.
“You know,” I say. “I managed to retrieve them after you broke my phone. Because if you were interested in me even a little bit, you’d know that I’m not just somepathetic fagwho eats candy and likes unicorns, but that I’m also into IT. I have hobbies, a life, and a career. I’m not sure if you understand, but I am a person.”
“What do you want to tell me?” Matthew asks defensively.
“Why didn’t you reject me?” I ask him directly. “I know rejection is a way out for you. I might not know how it works exactly, but I know it exists. And I know you have been sleeping with others. It’s not like the mate bond means so much to you.”
“Did you spy on me?” he huffs.
I’m speechless for a moment. He is the one controlling me and the contact to my friends, and he tells me I’m the one spying on him? “No,” I say. “But I’ve had chest pains and other aches for days, and it just so happens that I have friends who are werewolves, who know very well where this pain comes from.” I stare at him. “Are you not ashamed?”
“No.” Matthew brushes through his hair. “I’m not… It’s… I should have been mated to a woman! Not a man! I like girls!”
Something in my chest aches. “Being gay doesn’t make you sick,” I say quietly.
He turns his head to look at me, his eyes flashing in sudden anger. “Don’t say that,” he yells.
“You’re not sick,” I tell him. “And you’re not abnormal.”
Matthew’s eyes turn black. He is up on his feet all of a sudden, and in a sudden reflex, I stand up too, trying to put more distance between us. “I told you to shut up,” he hisses.
I move backwards a bit. “You’re fine the way you are,” I mutter, trying to reason with him. “I might be a guy, but do you think the way you’re treating me is right?”
Matthew grabs me by my shoulders. There is desperation in his eyes, and anger. His emotions seem to battle each other. His fingers dig deep into my flesh, probably going to leave bruises there. “You’re hurting me,” I tell him, trying not to panic. Fuck, I didn’t consider he might snap at me. I try to move one of my hands towards him to calm him down, but he just smacks it away with enough force for me to hit it against the wall.
I can feel a blinding pain going through my wrist. Oh damn it, don’t be broken!
