Page 50 of A Broody Mate for the Human
“Of course,” she says softly.
I don’t know how long the walk home takes me, but eventually I reach my apartment. Closing the door behind me, I drop down on the ground and wrap my arms around my legs, crying silently. My heart breaks for myself and for Matthew, and for the whole shit show we found ourselves in.
I hope someone will kill that bastard who calls himself Matt’s father, who ruined him to an extent that he almost turned violent himself.
I don’t know for how long I cry, but when I stop, I just feel drained.
Fuck the stupid mate bond.
Who needs love, anyway?
Maybe I should adopt a puppy instead.
*MATTHEW*
“You should eat something,” Deacon says and knocks at my door. “Come on, Matt, I’ve managed to grab us burgers.”
Even through the door, I can take up the smell of the burgers, and I can only turn my head. The scent of food almost makes me gag.
“Mattie,” he says in worry now. “You haven’t eaten much since Gamma Jun dropped you off here, and you are eating less even now. You need to eat.”
I shake my head slightly, rubbing over it. Ever since we returned, I’ve closed the door to my room in Deacon’s house and sat down there, failing hard at my goal not to cry. Dave’s beautiful smile and his warm brown eyes will never look at me like that again.
I lost him, and it’s my own fault that I did.
My wolf whimpers in my mind.I’m sorry.
What for?I mutter.It was me.
No, it was us. Threatening his friends was on me.Dash lets his head hang down.And I wanted Dad to love us too.
Oh, Dash.I pause.What are we going to do now?
I don’t know.He lies down and curls into a ball.
Just don’t leave me,I beg.Promise to stay with me. You’re all I’ve left.
I won’t leave you,he mutters.Together till the end, remember?
“Okay, I’m coming in now,” Deacon exclaims and opens the door, hitting it against me. “Goddess, sorry! I didn’t know you were sitting…” he pauses, looking uncertain now. “Please eat something.”
“I can’t,” I mutter. “I feel sick.”
“Then how about I have the kitchen prepare a smoothie for you?” Deacon asks.
I don’t know why he is still so nice to me. I don’t deserve his kindness at all. He and Alpha Jace have always been like family to me, and I disappointed them so much. I wish I could just leave, but I don’t know where to… and the alpha has just given me a second chance. I can’t blow it again.
Deacon sighs and sits down next to me. He pats my head awkwardly while I continue to sob into my knees like a pathetic idiot. “I don’t know what to say,” Deacon says quietly. “Other than allowing him to leave was the right decision. You did well this time, and I’m proud you allowed him to do it despite it hurting you. You wouldn’t have made him happy. First you need to learn to love yourself, then… you will also be able to make someone else happy, leading to a healthy relationship.”
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now, Uncle Deacon,” I admit.
“But I know,” he says, squeezing my shoulder softly. “You have the kids at the infirmary and nursery waiting for you tomorrow. They are counting on you.”
“I guess they do,” I admit. My so-called punishment, having to work part of my time in the infirmary, happened to be rather another act of mercy from the alpha. I’m not doing actual work there. My therapist set me up with a doctor there, and my whole task is spending time with the children, reading something to them and playing.
This is not a punishment. It’s the best part of my very dull life at the moment.
“And the other warriors count on you too,” Deacon continues. “We are only strong together, remember? Your sparring partner can’t do much without you.”
