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“He loved you,” Elden says. “He wanted to return to you, and I think that’s certainly worth something.”

“I am glad he wanted to return, but sad that I never met him,” I pause. “But I have his journal, and I know he loved me.”

“That’s what helped me when Mom passed away,” Elden says. “I knew she loved me. Despite all my complicated feelings towards her death, I do think that her love was real.”

I hug the journal, nodding thoughtfully. My birthday is going to be in a couple of days, and I never expected to celebrate it without family, without my steady constant. “Grandma wanted to make my birthday dinner for me,” I say quietly.

“Her infamous meatloaf,” Elden says.

“Exactly.”

“I have been thinking, and maybe it’s a stupid idea. Tell me if it is, it’s honestly just an idea. But how about Jace and I do it? We will cook for you and Janice.”

I turn to look at him. “What?”

“Hazel showed me the recipe a couple of weeks ago. She wanted me to know how to make your favorite dish,” Elden explains. “I don’t want to take over her role or sully her memory but-“

“You would really do that?” I exclaim.

“You don’t hate the idea?”

“No! I love it!”

“Then Jace and I will do it,” he says, his face lighting up a bit. “For your birthday, I originally wanted to surprise you with a party, but now-“

“Now I don’t want it,” I say honestly. “Seriously, Elden. Grandma is not here, and this is my first birthday without any family. I want to celebrate with you and our friends, just a private little gathering, just us.”

“Alright, I will plan something fun for us,” Elden promises.

“The night before my birthday, you will spend with me, won’t you?” I ask. “The moment I turn eighteen, I want you to be with me.”

“There is no way I would miss that. I can’t wait for the mate bond to be there fully and to be closer to you than ever.”

And I can’t wait for him to fuck and mark me, but I don’t say it out loud. His version sounds a lot more romantic.

I am not sure how Elden did it, but during the next couple of days I am barely alone. Either he is with me, or Emilia and Geneva tug me along, keeping me distracted or – and the best part – Janice is spending time with me. She is so composed and calm, but also such a pleasure to have around. She is really turning into such a valuable friend.

With Janice’s help I make a little memorial shrine for my parents and for Grandma. There is not much I know about Dad, just the little Mom and Grandma told me, and unfortunately, I can’t turn back time to change that. So, I have to work with the little I know.

“I wonder if I will ever find a gamma,” I muse.

Janice chuckles. “Where is that coming from all of a sudden?”

“It’s something I have been thinking about for a long time. Elden met Vincent, and it was fate. Clearly fate. I saw how they clicked instantly, and I have never seen Elden like that with anyone aside from Jace, maybe. And Calvin, well, Calv is there.”

Janice snorts. “You are really not his biggest fan, are you?”

“Nah, that’s not it. I don’t mind him. His work is valuable and he is really a good support to Elden, and Goddess knows we will need all the help we can get once we take over the pack, but I just don’t click with him. Is that bad?”

“No, he is Elden’s beta. It’s okay if he isn’t your person.”

“The thing is, how will I ever know who to trust?” I ask.

“I believe the moment you meet your person, you will know,” Janice says. “Like Elden instantly knew that he could trust Vincent.”

“I just feel so much pressure,” I admit, “because I still haven’t found someone.”

“So what?” Janice shrugs. “Once you are luna, you do things your way. I am sure the former gamma will help you, if needed.”