Page 117 of An Enigma for the Lycan Crown Prince
“Like a stone being tossed into a lake,” I mutter.
“Yes,” she says quietly.
“But you said she helped you with giving birth to me,” I point out.
“You are our flesh and blood,” she explains. “And part deity. It’s different.” She puts her hand on her chest. “Saving Gilbert was my task and I failed it, and him.”
“I don’t think you failed him,” I say quietly. “I think no one failed. You couldn’t save him because your mortal body died, and Dad left because he couldn’t bear the loss. But he wanted to return.”
“Yes, let’s cling to the knowledge that we now know he was about to return to our family,” Mom says. I try to read her expression as she is saying these words. She looks thoughtful but mostly sad.
“How did you meet him?” I ask.
“I was lonely,” she says. “Very lonely, and I was living among the humans at that time, mostly out of boredom.”
“And you fell in love?”
She chuckles. “He was my mate.”
“What?” I exclaim. “I thought he was your chosen mate.”
“Everyone who knows about us believes that,” she says. “But to you, I will tell the truth. Hewasmy mate. Selene wanted to gift me a mate like she gifts all her creatures one. I might not be a shifter, but I am one of her children.” She smiles. “I really loved him. He was a bit clumsy and constantly wanted to prove to me how manly and strong he was.”
I giggle. “No way.”
“Yes,” she chuckles. “He was trying to look so tough, but truth is, he was just genuinely kind, and he was fun. He could make me laugh for hours. He was a good man. Part of me is glad that I have the proof for it now. I might have lost my faith in him for a while, but he restored it.”
“I feel sad because I never met him,” I admit. “It might sound stupid saying that. Mourning him seems to be so silly.”
“It’s not,” she reassures me. “He was part of you, and he was part of Hazel.”
“I don’t know what to do with these feelings,” I admit. “I feel so angry.”
“It’s alright to feel all the emotions you do,” she assures me. “Allow yourself to feel them. You are not wrong for feeling sad and angry, and for mourning your father. But make sure not to live in the past, and instead walk into the future. For us deities,it’s important to always move forward and not linger too much on what could have been.”
“But how can I do that?”
She smiles at me. “Don’t you have a mate who loves you?”
“Yes,” I say, my chest warming instantly at the thought of Elden.
“He is waiting for you,” she says, still looking at me. The sight in front of me gets blurred. I feel like I am watching her through the surface of the water.
He is waiting for me…
I startle awake, instantly noticing the arms that are wrapped around me. His scent fills my lungs. He is waiting for me; he will always be waiting for me. No matter how grim the past and present feels, as long as Elden is with me, I know I will be alright.
I am in my bed, nestled against him. He must have carried me here.
“Hey,” I say softly, touching his arm.
“You are awake,” he mumbles tiredly.
“Sorry, did I wake you up?”
“No, I was just dozing off.” Elden doesn’t say anything for a while, then, “I am so sorry for your loss.”
“It’s… it’s okay,” I say, pausing and shaking my head. “Not really, but I will come to terms with it.” I reluctantly get up to grab my backpack, and show him the journal Grace gave me. “It’s true that he wanted to return. It’s also true that he was losing his sanity. It’s all in there.”
