Page 60 of The Kingdom of Eternal Ice
“I am. I looked down at Alana because I envied her for being so strong and confident. And I talked down to Nevyn for being so soft and you for being so strong,” she says bitterly. “I don’t know why I am that way. I just… suck,” she adds before they both fall into an uncomfortable, awkward silence.
“I don’t think there is anything wrong with being you,” I say as the silence gets more and more suffocating. “It’s great that you want to tackle a weakness, and it’s great that you want to apologize to your siblings. But, as for worrying about doing things that are unusual for wolves, I don’t think the goddess is punishing you for being yourself and for doing things you enjoy. It’s… not everyone likes to represent the kingdom to the outside, but you do, and that’s not a weakness. Politics are peculiar, and it’s important to have at least one in the family who likes to do the princessy stuff, as you all call it.”
“But, I neglected my wolf side.”
“Kilah, you don’t know the reason why your wolf spirit is still dormant,” Caelan says earnestly. “Nevyn got his very early. That’s unusual.”
“But you, Ende and Flinn, you got yours earlier than I did, and Alana did too.” She pauses. “What if something is wrong with me?”
“I can feel your wolf spirit,” Caelan tells her. “It’s there. I can feel its presence.”
“Really? But how can you be so sure? None of my friends can sense it.”
“Endellion, Flinn and I were born to be Alphas,” Caelan explains to her. “It’s different for us. Your wolf spirit exists. Be patient, that’s all I can advise you. And continue training, because it might make your connection grow.”
“I will,” Kilah says, nodding with newfound resolution. She looks up, her eyes widening when she sees Flinn. I don’t know for how long he has been listening, but now he approaches us.
“Do you have some leftovers for a hungry wolf?” he grins.
“Go and ask the kitchen yourself,” Caelan grumbles.
Flinn smirks, his eyes gloss over and soon enough one of the maids brings him something to eat. In his typical Flinnliness, he flirts with her without meaning it, making the young woman laugh in amusement. Seeing him and Caelan next to each other is like day and night. Not just their looks, but also their overall aura. One is rather broody, somewhat gloomy; the other gives off a mischievous, slightly cunning, air.
By now, I understood that Kilah and Flinn never got along well. I think it’s probably because Flinn really tries to support Alana, their connection is pretty deep. Maybe Kilah was jealous about it. Flinn has sharp eyes, sharp ears and an even sharper mind. He probably knows everything Kilah has said to their siblings in the past, which doesn’t help her case much. She truly tends to self-sabotage.
“I’m finished,” Kilah gets up. “Thank you, Caelan. Until tomorrow?”
“Yes, same place, same time,” he confirms.
“And, Azadeh, I will pick you up in half an hour. Is that alright? We can go and ask Alana, then.”
“Of course,” I smile, actually looking forward to spending the afternoon with the girls. When Kilah hurries away, I turn to look at Caelan. “You were nice to her,” I say with a happy smile. “That was sweet of you.”
“Too sweet,” Flinn frowns. “Did you forget what she used to say and do?”
“I… I’m not going to lie; I was upset a lot about what Kilah said and did. She used to comment on my bad marks in school, and just in general acted like I wasn’t worth her attention, but she has her insecurities, too.” Caelan shrugs. “If she wants to change, I will help her.”
“You have always been too nice,” Flinn sighs with a hint of worry.
“Come on, Flinn,” I elbow him. “Caelan is right. Kilah has deep insecurities, but she wants to grow and progress now. Isn’t this something to support?”
"Goddess," Flinn groans. “Another goody-two-shoes. Now, all that’s missing is Ende lecturing me.”
“Why should I lecture you?” Endellion appears, sitting down next to me and eyeing his brother with an amused smile.
“Awesome,” Flinn snorts. “I jinxed it.”
I laugh at Endellion’s confused expression and Flinn’s over-dramatic one. Caelan then fills him in on what happened. Endellion listens and nods, but I have the feeling he already knew it. He was the one Kilah confided in, and he also sent her to our training session.
While I watch the brothers, I notice how cheerful and relaxed they are when they talk to each other. There is no negativity between them. It must be beautiful to have someone who accepts you and understands you on such a deep level.
Maybe their goddess gifted them this bond between each other, since they didn’t feel a connection to a mate before.
twenty
Dresses
*AZADEH*
